The Post with me ranking all the movies I've seen this year
You read that right. I've seen 49 movies this year in theaters and I've gone back to rank them all from 49 all the way through to #1. #1 and #2 was not easy to choose between. For 49-11 I'm just going to use what I initially said about the movie. 10-1 I will write something different. Also, if it appears I liked a movie ranked- say 45- this list is more about what movies I think I would watch over and over and would last over time. Here we go:

49. Disaster Movie- Just dumb. I had a free ticket and that's why I saw it. It wasn't worth a free ticket if that tells you anything.

48. Harold & Kumar: Escape From Guantanamo Bay- The first one was stupid fun. This one was just stupid. Maybe about 4 really good laughs in the film and the plot was way too easy and forced.

47. Righteous Kill- Dumb dumb film. DeNiro and Pacino were wasted in this piece of garbage. The ending is completely silly and doesn't fit the movie's story at all. Laughably bad.

46. 21- Terrible movie. Just boring, and felt overlong. Plus the ending was a little too wrapped nicely. Turns out they fudged the end of the book for the film. Maybe they could've fudged more of the film. Start with a better script.

45. Vantage Point- I liked the movie for a while but then it spun off the rails and fell apart for me. First, you need to know that this will tell the same story from 6 points of view- so be ready for that when the film rewinds 5 times throughout. Also as the movie pieces the puzzle together it gets silly and ruins it.

44. Punisher: War Zone- Really kind of dumb, and a huge downgrade from the superhero movies of the summer. Way too melodramatic and just sloppily put together.

43. Aliens vs Predator: Requiem- It was a free ticket and I wasn't expecting much, still didn't entirely care for it. Note to filmmakers, if you have a really cool scene or idea- show it off. This movie has an awesome scene with the Predator vs Alien vs Predalien. The filmmaker though chose to film this with almost no lights on the set so you had no idea what was going on at times. Stupid.

42. How to Lose Friends and Alienate People- I enjoyed it, but it's kind of forgettable. Seriously, sitting here I remember very little about the film. Simon Pegg was good in it and some of his scenes where he screws with people were good.

41. Doomsday- Was disappointed in this. Not because it;s a bad movie- it isn't. But because the director has done some really cool horror films and this was a little closer to the vest apocalyptic film that I wasn't grooving on. Some parts are excellent and there are some intense action scenes. Overall though it just felt a little flat.

40. Death Race- Fine I suppose. It was just action with a very loosely pieced together plot. It was really homo-erotic towards the end though with Jason Statham and Tyrese Gibson (I think) working on a car together shirtless. The way it was filmed was completely ridiculous as well.

39. Seven Pounds- I know people find this film inspirational. I found it terribly boring and kind of full of itself. BY the one hour mark I was checking my watch every five minutes trying to figure out how much time was left in the thing. Too much of it is plot hole filled, and the ending is going for the heart, but the lack of brain power beforehand undercuts it.

38.The Love Guru- I liked it more than most but it's definitely not for everyone. If Mike Myers humor is for you then you'll be entertained more than most. If not, then you'll be annoyed 20 minutes in.

37. Hancock- Really enjoyed the film until the big twist around the 1 hour mark. That twist though ruined the film. Will Smith, Charlize Theron, and Jason Bateman do the best they can with a bad script but one can only do so much.

36. W.- Good film I guess. Most of the performances were decent with only a few becoming caricatures rather than just parts. It equally mocks Bush and makes you feel sorry for him- I would venture the latter was not what Oliver Stone was necessarily going for though.

35. Indiana Jones & the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull- Look the CGI is overdone. The plot is a little corny. But in the end, it's still Indy being Indy and that is good enough for me.

34. Superhero Movie- It's a silly parody film. It made me laugh quite a few times and that's really all you can hope for. My favorite scene was at a funeral the preacher said, "We've gathered here today to say goodbye." Then the whole crowd at the funeral says in unison, "Godobye." It was unexpected and made me laugh.

33. Untraceable- Actually kind of really liked this. The best part to me is so often these "Who done it" films fall flat when they put the puzzle together at the end. This movie actually worked at the end when that happened. Also I really enjoy Diane Lane.

32. The X-Files: I Want to Believe- It's not a great movie. It isn't going to make any new fans and will do more to turn off old fans. However, for me- it was great to see Mulder and Scully one more time and see that they ended up being together and living in a cabin out in the woods as a couple.

31. Charlie Bartlett- Another movie that I think deserved to do better at the box office. It's not a great movie per se but it's a fun little movie about a kid who starts faking ailments to score his new friends drugs. The audition scene is great and there is some good interaction with Robert Downey Jr. and the main character. Also a bunch of my Degrassi peeps show up which was nice.

30. The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian- I liked it in some ways better than the first one but overall it felt a little less magical than the first. There were some little kids freaked out by the film though.

29. You Don't Mess with the Zohan- Typical Adam Sandler film. You'll either find it funny or you won't. I thought it was really good at spots and actually had some neat little messages in it about the Israel/Palestine conflict. Well as much as a Sandler comedy ever will.

28. Strange Wilderness- Disappointing this movie didn't do more at the box office as it is really funny in spots. There are some really great scenes but there are spots where there not enough big laughs. I still enjoy them mocking the shark on the video at the end.

27. Four Christmases- Funny, but not as funny as it should've been. There were good ideas but some of the stuff just fell short of what they were aiming more. Maybe expectations were just really high.

26. The Incredible Hulk- It's better than Ang Lee's mess of a film but it still isn't perfect. When Ed Norton "hulks" up it is a lot of fun, but there isn't quite enough of it. I do like how they decided to just jump into the story without a huge background set-up.

25. Run Fat Boy Run- Really enjoyed this movie as well but it bombed at the box office. Simon Pegg is great as is his friend in it. Nice little story about a guy trying to atone and prove he can accomplish something.

24. Eagle Eye- Good little, dumb action film. Shia Labeouf is good in what is kind of a silly premise. The ending is goofy but it's a good little popcorn flick.

23. Lakeview Terrace- Surprisingly very good. With the subject matter (interracial couple being discriminated against) I was expecting to be bludgeoned over the head with the message. You weren't. Samuel L. Jackson was good too until he went into Jackson mode towards the end but him holding off for an hour and a half is a victory in itself.

22. Kung Fu Panda- Good little animation film. The voice performances are good and they aren't all overly recognizable. The overdone Japanese style animation was annoying when it popped up but I got over it pretty quickly.

21. Yes Man- Nice to see Jim Carrey back to being Jim Carrey. It's got some really good moments and is pretty good. Feels like it is missing something at times but it's fine.

20. The Rocker- This movie deserved to do better at the box office. It's not the best comedy ever, but it has some really good stuff and Jason Sudekis steals the show as the band's manager. The kid who played the lead singer is a real musician and his music isn't bad at all. Funny little movie, with heart.

19. Quarantine- Good horror film and I really like Jennifer Carpenter. The character is annoying at the beginning and it kind of ruins when things go haywire and we need to root for her. However, things get good in general when it goes haywire.

18. Madagascar 2: Escape to Africa- Better than the first one and a lot more briskly paced. Storywise it shadows The Lion King a little bit but it's still a quick easy film to watch.

17. Get Smart- Works much better than it should have. There are plenty of nods to the old show, but you can still appreciate it without knowing them. The Rock is great in it.

16. Rambo- I wanted to see a hardcore action film with dudes getting bludgeoned. I got that. Stallone has now resurrected two of my favorite characters and had decent filmd with them. The minefield slaughter scene was great.

15. Transporter 3- When you see a film like this you are looking for silly action, and some mindless fun. This delievered in spades. I mean the dudes car gets submerged in a lake and then he brings it back to shore and it runs perfectly minutes later- Bizarre.

14. Zack and Miri Make A Porno- Funny Kevin Smith film. It's not as good as Clerks 2 or Jay & Silent Bob, but it has its moments. Seth Rogen is really bad in this though and I think I've reached a saturation point with him. At the end when the movie is hitting the climax Elizabeth Banks acts circles around him. Also- Katie Morgan does really good in her first Hollywood role (although playing a porn star isn't really against type for her). I still love her though.

13. Bolt- A really good animated film that kind of got lost in the shuffle of family/teen films at the end of the year. Kind of a shame because it really works well.

12. Step Brothers- I don't know that I liked this as much as Talladega Nights, but it's close. Being that it's R rated they use a lot more swearing and there is one scene with the drums that is really hilarious

11. The Strangers- I really enjoyed this film. It's a bit of a throwback to old school horror films and is genuinely creepy at spots. The last 15 seconds of the movie almost ruined it for me. I've seen too many horror movies to know that the studio wanted that ending.


10. Juno- Maybe it's a little too cute for its own good at times. It is one of the most entertaining films I've ever seen though. It's funny, witty, and doesn't dwell on the usual stories this type of film would go for. The performances are great and it is a fast moving little film. Well worth seeing

9. Baby Mama- Really well written film and both Amy Poehler and Tina Fey take turns stealing scenes, Poehler especially. Some good funny lines.

8. Cloverfield- Sure most of the movie was surrounded by a brilliant marketing campaign. But besides all that it was a fun little flick. I think many were taken aback by how it was more love story than monster flick at times but it almost needed to be like that. It's scary at times, funny at others, and most importantly doesn't overstay its welcome.

7. Horton Hears A Who- Always been one of my favorite books and they did a real good job adapting this to the big screen. It has a positive message and they had some great voice actors to play the parts which helped the film greatly.

6. Role Models- Great film and Paul Rudd and Seann William Scott did an excellent job in this. It's a funny movie that actually feels authentic and not just people acting their way through a film. Some real good quotable lines in this

5. Forgetting Sarah Marshall- I sort of have a soft spot for the film because I've sort of been in the similar situation (minus the male nudity, and going to Hawaii). Jason Segal did a great job with the script and as the lead actor. Kristin Bell and Mila Kunis looked amazing in it and Russell Brand was excellent as the ridiculous singer dating Bell.

4. Iron Man- The Robert Downey Jr. comeback train started with this film and it really is a fine piece of work. It got lost in the summer a little becasue of that other superhero movie, but this is a really excellent film. The action scenes are good and Jon Favreau as director does a great job of letting you see action.

3. Tropic Thunder- The Downey Jr. train kept rolling here with this absolutely hilarious send-up of Hollywood and the movie-making process. It's funny from second one and even the cameos work in this film. Great lines and Downey is fantastic in this flick.

2. The Dark Knight- I know some will disagree with me putting it at 2. It's my list though so deal. I loved this film. All the performances are great. The script and directing are excellent. It's a movie that will work for years to come becasue it speaks to why we need "heroes." Heath Ledger gave an amazingly good performance as The Joker. He grabbed you as soon as he appeared and wouldn't let you forget he was in the film. This was about as perfect as a movie can get.

1. Wall-E- This is maybe the first Pixar film made for adults that kids will get a kick out of. The first half hour has little to no dialogue and is driven by a robot patrolling the Earth cleaning up after we have trashed the place. He talks in beeps to his pet cockroach and spends nights watching Hello Dolly. He meets a female robot and falls in love- chasing her back to her planet and then trying to save Earth while helping his little flower grow. It has hidden messages about rampant consumerism, and the obese country we create for ourselves. At the end though it is extremely touching, and moving. I swear you will be moved by the end of the film and for an animated feature to pull that off it needs to be given credit. I think more thna any film of the year this will forver have a place in cinema lore, and is something future generations will enjoy.
- posted by Brian @ 12/31/2008 02:29:00 PM

 
The Post with my top 15 TV shows of the year
Tough year to come up with 15 shows to make the list this year because it doesn’t feel like there is a lot of good stuff on right now. Too much reality that I don’t watch, and just a lack of good new shows coming into the market. I actually spent most of the year getting to be a bigger fan of shows I watch already.

Also, while most people do a list of the Top 10 shows on TV- I do 15. Do I love TV that much? Not really. I’m just not going to worry myself into cutting 5 off the list. Although you could assume the bottom 5 I could take or leave. This is pretty much the only TV I watch- and it’s pretty much between 8-11 at night.

15. Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew

- I thought about going with House in this slot because of the really strong season ender back in May but the rest of the year was kind of bad and not terribly exciting. This show was wildly more entertaining and I feel really bad admitting that. It’s a silly show where C and D level celebrities try to kick their addictions. There is a very perverse delight in seeing model Amber Smith lying in the middle of a hallway throwing up and detoxing while Dr. Drew waxes philosophical about it. Rodney King was great in the second season and the awkwardness of him entering the house was hilarious. No one knew who he was and they assumed he was a basketball player. Gary Busey was crazy like he normally is throwing out his Busey-isms. I spent minutes of episodes wondering if I would still bang Tawny Kitaen (currently I would). And Steven Adler was great on this show and seemed to come the longest way of all the patients. Yes it is disturbing that a show like this is successful, but it is entertaining.

14. My Name Is Earl

- They finally went back to what made the show originally and it is starting to become great again. I worry it may be too late to save the show but at least they are rewarding the viewers who have been there since the beginning. Joy in the bubble after getting a flesh eating bacteria was great. The episode where Earl thought he created a terrorist and Joy’s schemes were both excellent episodes. The best though was Randy being enrolled at cheerleading camp while trying to avoid the instructor with the milky eye. This is what the show should be. More list stuff, and less nonsense.

13. Fringe

- The only new show this year to crack the list. It’s not perfect. It can be a little dull at times, and the lead actress isn’t all that interesting. What makes this show work though is the chemistry between the dad and son and the crazy mysteries they keep trying to solve. Basically the dad was involved in “fringe-science” experiments years ago before being put in an insane asylum. Years later some of these experiments are being used to commit crimes and he is called in to investigate. It’s sort of like early X-Files without the strong relationship writing. Because J.J. Abrams is behind it, the show has an overall mystery but it hasn’t really tackled that much yet. There is a really great show in there but they still have some rough edges to smooth over.

12. Prison Break

- I would never argue that this show is high art, because it clearly isn’t. Michael has broken his brother out of prison, been locked in a Mexican jail and avoided the FBI manhunt. Now him and his gang of misfits are trying to bring down the company that framed his brother for murder. The show trips over itself sometimes with it’s constant reliance on twists, and the fact that no one ever seems to trust anyone. However, the quest for Scylla this season was pretty cool and I was looking forward to it every week rather than just treating it as popcorn filler. Plus they brought back Sara which was nice.

11. Monk

- The travels of Adrian Monk are reaching an end as the series will end after the current season. However, they are going out with some really strong episodes. Monk joining the cult was a great way to kick off the year and the season finale back in May with him on the run for murder was a good two part episode. When they returned in the summer they had another strong episode with him buying a house and then with him battling with a chess genius. There were some down episodes but there were more stronger episodes than bad ones this year.

10. The Office

- A lack of episodes this year due to the writer’s strike but they were much better than the ones that started out the previous season. The dinner party was deliciously uncomfortable and Stanley’s ‘Did I stutter” was a classic. This year they scored strong with Amy Ryan as the new human resources person and weight loss episodes. The ethics episode was great too. The show just needs to stay away from hour long episodes.

9. The Big Bang Theory

- The show has gradually become a favorite of mine. The relationships are great on it and the jokes are funny, and educational. They still rely on the whole, “they’re nerds and she’s not,” thing a little too much but it is less and less every week. Some episode highlights included Sheldon getting sick and all his friends hiding from him because of his needy nature. The knowledge bowl battle where Howard insists they call their team Perpetual Motion Squad because, “they can go all night.” Also the awkwardness of Leonard and Penny going on a date and then breaking up led to some great scenes with Sheldon and Penny. This show is really starting to gain steam.

8. True Blood

- HBO finally got back on track with their original programming this past year turning back to Alan Ball. This show about vampires that can now be out in public thanks to a synthetic blood drink was a hit from the start. It works as a larger allegory about race relations in the US but thankfully they don’t dwell on that too much. The Show is super sex charged (almost to the point of overkill) with numerous people spending copious amounts of time naked. The show did a great job of setting up characters and building a story throughout the first season which leads to some intriguing possibilities moving forward. I enjoy the heck out of the show and am anxious to see where it goes from here. (Also if Anna Paquin or someone like Lizzy Caplan drops the top again I’ll be excited- I’m a guy, don’t judge me)

7. Psych

- Just a great show that is great ending to the week. James Roday and Dule Hill make a great team on this show as the fake psychic detectives trying to help out the police. Some excellent episodes this year including Shawn getting a job on a Spanish soap opera, Shawn’s dad going undercover at the retirement home, and the high school reunion episode. They bring in guest stars and play with the supporting characters but eh main relationship is still Shawn and Gus and they do a great job with that.

6. It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia

- A down year for the show but it’s still hilarious when it is on. The anti-Seinfeld is so crazy and out there that sometimes you wonder why anyone would talk to these people. It felt like the writers were trying to be too crazy at times this year and the colonial episode didn’t really work well for me. However, the episode where they were buying gas to sell for profit was excellent. Also, the episode where they kidnapped the restaurant critic was great, but overall a down year. At the end of the year though they brought back Nightman as Charlie wrote a musical to try and date the waitress again (to no avail). That saved the season for me to some degree.

5. Pushing Daisies

- A great show that sadly seems like it is going away because ABC doesn’t want it anymore. A sad day for sure. Still though it gave us another season of great episodes to go out on. The circus clown dying episode was great for the gag of numerous bodies being taken out of the clown car. The bee episode that kicked off the year was excellent. Also, the episode where the Pie Hole entered the comfort food cook-off was great. The actors were great once again this year and the show really does a good job of filling you with backstory without making it too confusing to follow. Basically you can pick up anywhere. Sadly not enough people are and I’ll lose this show- you bastards.

4. How I Met Your Mother

- This show has easily become one of my favorites. When I initially started watching the show years ago it didn’t feel very good- mainly because it didn’t seem to be going anywhere. Now with a few years of stories under the belt it’s easier to go back and watch from the beginning because you know where the story is moving too. This past year was one of the best (both storywise, and commercially). They had the huge episode where Britney Spears showed up and the show got a huge audience off of that. In addition to it they put together a strong episode. There were many beliefs that Sarah Chalke would be the mother that the title refers to but it was not meant to be as she left Ted at the altar. The highlights of the year were Barney’s bracket of girls he wronged. Barney creating “Not A Father’s Day,” and The Naked Man. The show is really clicking right now and is real close to being the best comedy on TV…..

3. 30 Rock

-…..If only 30 Rock didn’t exist. Even in a somewhat down year for them they still hit the ball out of the park more often than not. The best part about this show is how absurd it is, but it is written like these are the most normal of conversations. I mean why would someone dress up like Princess Leia to get out of Jury Duty? The saga of Tracy Jordan trying to make his porno video game was great. When he finally did and Jenna fought with him over royalties that led to the great scene with Tracy and Jenna dressing up like the other to try and prove who has it harder. Also, the Oprah Winfrey cameo was great as it turned out much better than you could’ve ever thought. And the last image of the year was Liz Lemon accidentally ruining Christmas for two little kids which was hilarious in how awkward it was. Such a crazily written show and most weeks it tops The Office- that’s right I said it.

2. Lost

- Lost came back with a vengeance this year now that they have an end date in sight. With that in mind they can start focusing on everything that is going down and they did not disappoint. We now know- who gets off the island, and who is on who’s side once they are off. We know Ben has either blown up or moved the island. We also know that Penny and Desmond do get their reunion and it was awesome. Plus we have Ben laying down the gauntlet to Charles Widmore which will be paid off at some point. Just a great season from one of the best shows ever on TV.

1.The Shield

- No television drama has ever gone out as well as Shawn Ryan took out his show on FX. An absolutely amazing season in every sense of the word. Years of deceit and corruption caught up with Vic Mackey as his former best friend tried to have him killed only to fail in his attempt. This led to a chase where Vic was trying to find his friend before the cops did so he could perform his own brand of justice. Shane Vendrell running with his family from his fate was some of the most gripping tv of the year. The ending of that story was immensely tragic. The acting jobs across the board on the show were excellent from Michael Chiklis to CCH Pounder and every one on the show was hitting all the right notes at the end when they needed to. It was sad to see this show go off the air but when it did it gave its fans some great television and unlike The Sopranos, made you glad you went along for the ride over the years. The ending was equal parts: tragic, hopeful, and just- with enough time given to all those factors colliding into one
- posted by Brian @ 12/30/2008 02:01:00 PM

 
The Post with my Top 20 Country songs of 2008
Usually I dread doing the year end country list. See I’m an old hat fan to this genre. So I get kind of cranky about the newer artists invading my “home.” I long for the days of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, Emmylou Harris, and Charlie Daniels. I loathe people like Rascal Flatts, Taylor Swift, and Big & Rich. However, this year when I sat down I had a pretty hard time narrowing my list to 20 songs I loved this year. There were about 26 that got into my final cuts and weeding out those last six was terribly difficult. That does give me some modest hope for the genre as they seem to be getting stronger on top as opposed to the past two or three years. When I got to the end the top 3, and maybe 4 or 5, songs to me will live on in the genre long over the years. For criteria I used any song that I heard this past year that came off a country album. I didn’t like the restrictions of being on the charts for any period of time since I felt it constricted things a little too much. Here are, in my humble opinion, the top 20 country songs of the past year

20. Darius Rucker, “Don’t Think I Don’t Think About It”

- In a year where more and more stars from the pop world ventured into country the former Hootie delivered the best song of the bunch. His tale is one of a man who made a difficult decision to break up with a woman he cared for because they just weren’t working out. It’s a song about remorse but not of what he did but just how the situation would be had he made the opposite choice. He wonders, “where would be today, if I never drove that car away.” The message is- it still upsets me the way it worked out for us. In the process Rucker became the first African-American to score a country #1 since 1983- which is way too long a timeframe.

19. Alan Jackson, “Small Town Southern Man”

- Coming off a few vanity projects Jackson decided to release an album where he wrote all 17 songs that appeared on it. The lead single off that album was an ode that was written with his own dad in mind. It’s the story of a man who works hard to build a life that he can share with someone, then has kids and does his best to raise them in the world. It was written for his dad but it works as homage to any parent who feels, “the greatest contribution are the ones you leave behind.”

18. Craig Morgan, “International Harvester”

- Craig Morgan is about as red state as a country singer can get. He hammered that point again by singing a song dedicated to the hard-working farmers of those states. A pumping rhythm backs lyrics that have a farmer telling the people behind his tractor to calm down as he tries to do his work. Other than a confusing set of lyrics in the chorus where it sounds like he’s married to his sister, it’s a great song- and most importantly a fun one.

17. Randy Hauser, “Anything Goes”

- It’s a lyric that is so obvious it’s a wonder it hasn’t been done already in country music. Hauser is fairly new to the mainstream scene and he scores strong with a song about a man who, “normally would be reaching for a goodnight kiss and not another beer.” He also wouldn’t give the blonde in the bar a second look or invite her over. But he tells himself, “Anything goes when everything’s gone.” It’s a well done song and his deep soulful voice fits the melody perfectly.

16. George Strait, “I Saw God Today”

- King George scored another big hit this year with his lead song off the Troubadour album. It’s about a man who is walking along outside the hospital and seeing God’s hand in everything around him. When you listen to the song it’s fairly obvious lyrically what the third verse is going to be, and in lesser hands it would come off silly and sappy. Strait is so strong and treats his material with such reverence that he mines territory with this that others wouldn’t.

15. Dierks Bentley, “Trying to Stop Your Leaving”

- Bentley is one of the better voices in country music right now. This showcases that as the first verse is pretty much him over a very low backbeat before it kicks into high gear. The story is of a guy who is desperately trying to get the woman he loves to stay all the while realizing how fruitless it is. He illustrates this by talking about how he has a guitar but the train that’s coming won’t be stopped with a song. By the time the bridge hits into the final chorus the desperation is at a fever pitch before he hits the last line saying, “knowing I couldn’t stop your leaving.” It’s a sense of recognizing that he was battling a lost cause at that point.

14. Kenny Chesney, “Better As a Memory”

- Chesney is one of the more polarizing guys to me in country right now. I grow tired of his incessant party songs and wish he would sing more stuff like this song. Sometimes when you are about to hit your 40’s you need to change your singing point of view. That being said- I need to give him credit for this song. A man has broken up with his girlfriend and as she is upset he basically tells her, “I’m better as a memory than as your man.” It’s acknowledging that the best thing for her was to not be associated with him and his ways. The one problem I have is the lyric, “my only friends are pirates, it’s just who I am.” The lyrics doesn’t fit and sounds silly, but besides that misstep- it’s a strong song.

13. Trace Adkins, “You’re Gonna Miss This”

- Adkins experienced a career resurgence this year after scoring a spot on Celebrity Apprentice where people found themselves pulling for him. He turned that into gold with this song off his greatest hits album and a great new album that came out late in the year. “You’re Gonna Miss This,” follows a teenage girl as she longs for the days where she is on her own and not with her parents- through marriage, buying a house, and kids. All the while she hears people telling her to slow down and take these moments in. Once they are gone, they are gone and there’s no getting them back. At the end the plumber refers to his two babies as being, “36 and 23.” He implores her to enjoy this time when they are screaming kids because it will pass.

12. Keith Anderson, “I Still Miss You”

- Anderson does well with the slow songs. When he goes for up-tempo stuff he misfires badly. This falls into that former category. The song is about a man whose wife has passed away and the grief of that is swallowing up his whole existence. That’s the thing with loss. There is no one set way to get by. In the chorus he says, “I’ve talked to friends, talked to myself, talked to God, I’ve prayed like hell, but I still miss you.” The best part however is towards the end of the second verse where he says, “I feel helpless, so hopeless, it’s a door that never closes, No I don’t know how to do this.” In that moment you see the deep sadness of the situation. He has no idea how he is going to get past that which is a very real feeling in the grieving process.

11. Gary Allan, “Learning How to Bend”

- Another song that in the hands of a lesser singer would sound bad. It’s hard for a man to make this couplet, “I’m still learning how to trust, it’s so hard to open up, I’d do anything for us,” work. Allan understands that to sing this song effectively you need to sing against type in the song. If you tried to attack notes it would sound insincere. Allan’s California flavored voice zips in and out of a slight falsetto and expresses the rare feat of masculinity and vulnerability as he is trying to figure out- how to give in sometimes and let someone else win.

10. Heidi Newfield, “Johnny and June”

- The former lead singer of Trick Pony ventured out on her own and scored with the lead single off her first solo album. She sings about wanting a love with her man similar to country’s golden couple- Johnny Cash and June Carter. Most songs that name drop older artists suck. This one does not. Newfield’s voice is great and the arrangement is built to accentuate her voice. She isn’t looking for just a normal love, but rather something epic in feel and something that years down the road people will want to pattern themselves after. It’s a lofty goal, but her conviction makes you feel she can pull it off.

9. Joey & Rory, “Cheater, Cheater”

- This husband and wife duo did really well on the CMT competition “Can You Duet.” They translated that into a record deal and released this as their first single off their album. The driving fiddle arrangement with the banjo turns this into a high tempo kiss off song to her cheating man. Too many blow off songs these days aren’t sung with the wink-wink tone that is needed to properly sell the song (cough* Taylor Swift * cough). This song works and realizes how ridiculous it sounds. And how can’t a woman like a song where the person he cheated with is termed as a “no good, white trash ho.” Or, “wish(ing) her well, while she rots in hell.”

8. Miranda Lambert, “More Like Her”

- For a majority of her singles Lambert has showed off her macho girl exterior lighting a cheater’s house on fire, and then meeting an abusive boyfriend with a loaded shotgun. For this song though she chose to sing something a little more stripped down and revealing. She sings with a sensitivity and gentleness that can only be achieved if you’ve either lived the song or are gifted at interpreting lyrics. Lambert, I would guess, fits both criteria. The song is about a woman who sees an old boyfriend with his new girl and notices everything the new girl does she didn’t. She misses her boyfriend and surmises, “I should’ve been more like her.” The softness juxtaposed against all of Lambert’s other singles is what makes this song work above all else.

7. Keith Urban, “You Look Good In My Shirt”

- Hooray for slipping adult themes into melodies designed to hide that. I’m sure there are kids everywhere dancing to this song not realizing how the girl got to be in that shirt. Even beyond that too the song is about a couple who are having some issues but they are still good at one thing which they engage in. They realize that one night of passion isn’t going to change what they are going through but it gives them a foundation to build on. As per usual, Urban’s guitar playing elevates a song as he runs through lick after lick towards the end. I could do without the “bow bow bow’s,” at the end in tune with the music, but it’s a small gripe.

6. Jason Allen, “He’s Still Dancing with Her”

- A song that got played in the Texas country music scene but not nationwide. It’s the tale of an old man who is spotted at a bar every Friday night playing the same song on the jukebox. The man in the song notices him and asks the bartender, “What’s the deal with that guy, why’s he dancing alone.” The bartender tells him the story about the guy has lost his wife and comes in there to play their favorite song and dance with her ring praying that one day they’ll be together. It’s a tender, touching song and Allen deserves to be a bigger star than he currently is. A Blake Shelton or Dierks Bentley would have a massive hit with this song- why not Jason.

5. Carrie Underwood, “Just A Dream”

- This song isn’t perfect. There are some confusing lyrics in the opening verse which don’t match up right. All that disappears when Ms. Underwood barrels into the chorus as a young girl not believing that her solider boyfriend is coming back to her as one who has lost his life. What makes this song is the fact that this is why country music exists. It is designed to be a comforting shoulder and reach out to people when they need a hand the most. Many wives of fallen soldiers have found solace in this song which is as nice a tribute as any song could get. It’s another song that might falter in the hands of a lesser singer. With Carrie it works. Denial and anger are two of the most difficult stages of grief. On this powerful ballad, Underwood wrestles with both of them, lending her formidable voice to that of a widowed war wife. The second verse captures a military funeral down to the last painful detail, but all of those who have suffered a deep loss will be able to relate to feeling like you’re “looking from a distance” and “standing in the background.” You watch with numb and blurry detachment because if you fully let go of the idea that it’s not “just a dream”, you won’t be able to handle the reality you’re currently suffering through.

4. Brad Paisley, “Waiting on a Woman”

- This song could’ve been another jokey type Paisley song as it preys upon a stereotype of women always being late. Other than a clever little lyric in the bridge (I’ve read somewhere statistics show, the man’s always the first to go. That makes sense cause I know, she won’t be ready) it stays away from pointing fingers at the fairer sex for being patient. The young man is sitting on a bench waiting for his wife/girlfriend to get there and is gradually growing impatient. At that moment an older gentleman sits down next to him and starts telling him how he’s been waiting on a woman since 1952. The older sage sees this as one of life’s little pleasures because all that waiting is worth it in the end. Towards the end of the song the older man says that he hopes when he gets to the other side, “she’ll take her time, because I don’t mind waiting on a woman.” That waiting turns the young man from impatient to seeing it as an honor waiting for his woman. The lyric ponders mortality and everlasting love in a truly healthy marriage.

3. James Otto, “Just Got Started Lovin’ You”

- A country song that sounds like it is from the 1970’s finding a home on country radio in 2008- and being the #1 played song of the year- the heck you say. Otto did it though with this song that sounds like the best thing Conway Twitty never recorded. A sort of bluesy inspired mid-tempo beat is the basis for a song about a man telling his woman to just call in sick to work and stay with him so they can have much more fun. He has one of the better voices in country and uses the whole range of that to his benefit here as he rumbles in his baritone and then goes as high as he can in the chorus. This accompanies lyrics like, “I’m thankful for the weekend but two days in heaven just ain’t gonna do. Trust me when I tell you darling, girl I just got started lovin’ you.” To me it isn’t just something you do. It’s a full length thing that he isn’t going to let the bounds of work disrupt. Nice

2. Jamey Johnson, “In Color”

- For much of his career Johnson has written big hit songs for other artists. Last year he wrote his career defining album, after losing his record deal, and release it independently. A record company heard it and snapped him up to release the album again on a national scale. The lead single off it, that is still climbing the charts some 5 months after release, is this sad, yet hopeful tale of an old man and his grandson looking at pictures of his life. In the first verse they see a picture of him in the Great Depression with his brother. In the second verse he is overseas, “in the middle of hell 1943.” (Hopefully your history teachers haven’t failed you on this one.) Each verse in somber detail is punctuated with the tag of, “if it looks like we were scared to death, like a couple of kids just trying to save each other. You should’ve seen it in color.” Then it hits that third verse where they find the grandfather’s favorite old photo. It’s the day he was married to his sweetheart. You can’t tell from the picture but it was that June, “that rose is red, and her eyes are blue, and just look at that smile- I was so proud.” In that moment the grandfather is acknowledging that yes his life has been hard, but in the end he is with this beautiful woman and he would live the hardships all over again to get to the end. There is something very sweet in that sentiment. Johnson and his two co-writers don’t overpower you with the music either. There is a mournful fiddle and a soulful steel guitar accompaniment that are essentially background noise to the song. The picture painted by the writing is so clear and vivid you would almost swear it’s just a guy singing without any music behind him. It is as traditional as a country song can get and I’m happy it found a place on country radio. Maybe there is hope for the genre after all on the mainstream side.

1. Hayes Carll, “She Left Me For Jesus”

- At first glance this sounds like a silly little ditty of a song, but after a few listens the song sticks with you and you see the different layers on which it works. Carll is another guy who has yet to breakthrough onto the mainstream side of things. His most recent album, “Trouble in Mind,” is a great piece of work that showcases some great writing. This song closes off the album and is a departure from a majority of the project. It also is a song that caused upheaval in the Bible Belt and Heartland as they picketed the song for being anti-Christian and heathenistic in tone. These people are morons and miss the point of the song. In it the young man has seen his girlfriend leave him and she has taken up with a new guy apparently named, “Jesus.” In his anger, the man doesn’t grasp that she isn’t with another man- she’s found religion and is tired of what he terms as, “going out on weekends, and we’d drink til we drowned.” As he falls deeper into his despair he is missing more and more obvious signs. The writing follows him on this journey with a few gems that will live in lyrical couplet history. In his mind it’s unfair she is with this new guy because, “she says that he’s perfect, how could I compare.” At the end he says how, “she’s given up whiskey, and taken up wine. While she prays for his troubles, she’s forgot about mine.” I guess the end of the song is what riles up the thumpers because he says, “It could have been Carlos, or even Billy or Ted, but if I ever find Jesus, he’s gonna wish he were dead.” I guess taking that one line out of context might, MIGHT give you room to pause, but in the overall context of the song it’s just the final nail in this guy’s clueless nature. Years from now, when the pop ditties and lesser acts (Rascal Flatts, Taylor Swift) move on this song will still be remembered for being a subversive gem in a genre that doesn’t have enough of them.
- posted by Brian @ 12/29/2008 01:19:00 PM

 
The Post with my weekend
Coming to you a little early this week as this week is list week and I need three days to hit those.

Monday will be my TOP 20 country songs of the year (because really that's the main genre I listen to. I listen to like Top 40 too but I don't know how I would determine anything in that. What makes Coldplay better than Katy Perry or vice versa? Although I would say my favorite song from Top 40 this past year was "Bleeding Love." And I would battle anyone on that.) It was a tough list to compose as I feel there are probably 2 or 3 songs I could be swayed into putting at the one spot.

Tuesday is the Top 15 TV shows of the year which was the easiest list to compose by far.

Wednesday will be my ranking of the 49 movies I saw this year (This one was tough too. I still am not sure what will go #1. That's kind of a spur of the moment decision. I rewatched one of them and the other I will rewatch Tuesday night before making a pick.)

Thursday not sure if I blog. If I do it will probably just be recounting the previous night and setting some goals for the New Year. Friday will be playoff picks.

Friday I had to work which was as boring as you could imagine. Very little to do so I spent most of the day watching episodes of The Office and ALF on the computer. I got paid time and a half- and my holiday for that nonsense. Who says the economy is bad?

After that I hit the gym for a little and then hustled home to shower. I had plans to meet up with my group of church friends who i've grown up with for a long time now. We met at the one girl's parents place and got pizza from Scotty's. We ate pizza, and drank some beer. Afterwards we sat and played the board game Apples to Apples which was pretty fun. I think I've played it before, but it was pretty fun. Also the girl is friends with Nicole Barnhart who is Boyertown's own Olympic Gold Medalist. I got to talk to her a little bit as I know her from playing sports together as kids. It was cool to see her, and I'm really happy for her.

After that I hooked up with some other friends from high school who I haven't seen in a while. I met them at Iezzi's but the scene there was pretty beat so we headed to the All Star Cafe. I've heard some bad things about the people who go in there anymore but the crowd wasn't too unruly on the night. We stayed there til closing time and then we went to WaWa so people could get some sandwichs. Then it was off to Redners and then to someone's house where they did something that may or may not be against the law. It was funny either way. I really had a good time meeting up with Rachel, Jen, Julie, Jess, and John (I see Pat sort of regulalry) and hopefully they've forgiven me for their erroneous belief that I dissed them last time. I got to bed around 3:30 in the morning.

I woke up Saturday around 9 because I was supposed to help dad go get pellets for the stove. However, he decided to leave early so I was up for no reason. Ran out to Wal-Mart and got my groceries for the week. I then came home and helped him unload everything when he got in. Did some stuff in the garage and then settled in to watch football. Fell asleep for about 45 minutes during the game but caught the ending and it was pretty good. Ate dinner and then ended up closing up shop for the night around 11 because I was tired and knew I'd be up tonight for a while.

Today I went into church and because it was a down attendence day we didn't really do anything. Watched something and then headed home. My mom's brother and his wife and daughter came up for the day to celebrate my great grandmother's 95th birthday which is next week. Seriously- 95. They gave her balloons and a little necklace to wear so everyone knows it was her birthday. My uncle, brother, and I sat aroudn watching football all afternoon then.

Just got done watching the Eagles game which was a good win for them (cough--called it--cough). The Cowboys looked about as bad as any one team could look. They need to make some massive changes in the coming week. I like Philly's chances against Minnesota this coming week- but more on that Friday.

Now I'm finishing this up so I can watch my Chargers play and hopefully sneak into the playoffs over the Broncos. Cheer for the powder blue.

That's pretty much it. Have a great week and read my blog0 and comment if you want. See you tomorrow.
- posted by Brian @ 12/28/2008 04:27:00 PM

 
The Post with my week 17 NFL picks
We are hitting the final week of the year and after a bit of a roll pushing me towards my goal I hit a snag last week going 9-7. That brings me to 141-99 on the season which I guess is somewhat respectable. Last year with playoffs and everything I went 168-106 which means I am 7 losses away from being able to be only as good as last year. Not good.

Even worse is last week I started 8-1 by the end of the 1 pm games. That of course means I went 1-6 the rest of the way. Just terrible. Had I been able to go maybe 12-4 I'd be in much better position to hit my goal of besting last year's record. As of now I think it's a lost cause. Now it's just playing for pride.

SUNDAY'S GAMES
Carolina at New Orleans- In a year where home teams have not been very good at protecting home field the NFC South teams are perfect at home. Let's go with that.

Chicago at Houston- If Chicago wins and Minnesota loses than the Bears are in the playoffs. If they lose they will need some help. The Bears will need help.

Cleveland at Pittsburgh- Cleveland just stinks. Pittsburgh evne playing half strength will beat them. I do hope Braylon Edwards tells us how awesome he is again after his team loses.

Detroit at Green Bay- History is made as the Packers finally defend home turf and send the Lions to an 0-16 year.

Jacksonville at Baltimore- Lots of people are giving this game to Jacksonville. I don't see it.

Kansas City at Cincinnati- Two teams that stink. The fans lose. I think the Bengals have more talent.

Miami at N.Y. Jets- Huge game for the AFC East crown. Chad Pennington has a chance to get sweet revenge on his old team. He does.

New England at Buffalo- Got to like New England in this game becasue they know they need this game badly.

N.Y. Giants at Minnesota- The Giants don't need this game. Minnesota does. I think the Giants will cruise this game from about the second quarter on.

Oakland at Tampa Bay- No real contest to me.

St. Louis at Atlanta- Atlanta gets the win and coupled with the Carolina loss is the #2 seed in the NFC. That would make it the story of the year in the NFL.

Tennessee at Indianapolis- Both teams will play their back-ups. I guess I like INdy in this game.

Dallas at Philadelphia- By 4:15 this game could be useless. If Tampa Bay wins at 1 this game means nothing. That could be interesting becasue Donovan might be sat then to let the young guys play. However, I think Philly will still be looking to bounce the Cowboys from the playoffs.

Seattle at Arizona- Arizona I guess at home.

Washington at San Francisco- Let's go with Washington as they try and close on a high note.

SUNDAY NIGHT GAME

Denver at San Diego- San Diego wins this game and sneak into the playoffs. Thank god that asshat Ed Hochuli didn't cost us the season.
- posted by Brian @ 12/27/2008 04:05:00 PM

 
The Post with me Updating my movies for the year before the Year End Countdown
One more update to go. I was going to go to the movies this past weekend which would've brought my total to 50 but I ended up going out with friends (much more enjoyable) so the total will be at 48. Here's the rest of what I saw this year and then the countdown will come on New Year's Eve.

Disaster Movie- Just dumb. I had a free ticket and that's why I saw it. It wasn't worth a free ticket if that tells you anything.

Death Race- Fine I suppose. It was just action with a very loosely pieced together plot. It was really homo-erotic towards the end though with Jason Statham and Tyrese Gibson (I think) working on a car together shirtless. The way it was filmed was completely ridiculous as well.

Righteous Kill- Dumb dumb film. DeNiro and Pacino were wasted in this piece of garbage. The ending is completely silly and doesn't fit the movie's story at all. Laughably bad.

Lakeview Terrace- Surprisingly very good. With the subject matter (interracial couple being discriminated against) I was expecting to be bludgeoned over the head with the message. You weren't. Samuel L. Jackson was good too until he went into Jackson mode towards the end but him holding off for an hour and a half is a victory in itself.

How to Lose Friends and Alienate People- I enjoyed it, but it's kind of forgettable. Seriously, sitting here I remember very little about the film. Simon Pegg was good in it and some of his scenes where he screws with people were good.

Eagle Eye- Good little, dumb action film. Shia Labeouf is good in what is kind of a silly premise. The ending is goofy but it's a good little popcorn flick.

Quarantine- Good horror film and I really like Jennifer Carpenter. The character is annoying at the beginning and it kind of ruins when things go haywire and we need to root for her. However, things get good in general when it goes haywire.

W.- Good film I guess. Most of the performances were decent with only a few becoming caricatures rather than just parts. It equally mocks Bush and makes you feel sorry for him- I would venture the latter was not what Oliver Stone was necessarily going for though.

Zack and Miri Make A Porno- Funny Kevin Smith film. It's not as good as Clerks 2 or Jay & Silent Bob, but it has its moments. Seth Rogen is really bad in this though and I think I've reached a saturation point with him. At the end when the movie is hitting the climax Elizabeth Banks acts circles around him. Also- Katie Morgan does really good in her first Hollywood role (although playing a porn star isn't really against type for her). I still love her though.

Role Models- Hilarious film. Paul Rudd is great and so is Seann William Scott. Some great lines and just some great scenes. One of the better of these types of comedies

Madagascar 2: Escape to Africa- Better than the first one and a lot more briskly paced. Storywise it shadows The Lion King a little bit but it's still a quick easy film to watch.

Transporter 3- When you see a film like this you are looking for silly action, and some mindless fun. This delievered in spades. I mean the dudes car gets submerged in a lake and then he brings it back to shore and it runs perfectly minutes later- Bizarre.

Bolt- A really good animated film that kind of got lost in the shuffle of family/teen films at the end of the year. Kind of a shame because it really works well.

Punisher: War Zone- Really kind of dumb, and a huge downgrade from the superhero movies of the summer. Way too melodramatic and just sloppily put together.

Four Christmases- Funny, but not as funny as it should've been. There were good ideas but some of the stuff just fell short of what they were aiming more. Maybe expectations were just really high.

Yes Man- Nice to see Jim Carrey back to being Jim Carrey. It's got some really good moments and is pretty good. Feels like it is missing something at times but it's fine.

Seven Pounds- I know people find this film inspirational. I found it terribly boring and kind of full of itself. BY the one hour mark I was checking my watch every five minutes trying to figure out how much time was left in the thing. Too much of it is plot hole filled, and the ending is going for the heart, but the lack of brain power beforehand undercuts it.


Ok- that updates me for the year.
- posted by Brian @ 12/27/2008 02:01:00 PM

 
The Post with my usual Christmas Eve Post
Every year here in the blog I publish what I feel is one of the finest pieces of writing ever done. Years ago, a young girl wrote a question to the New York Sun asking if there really was a Santa Claus. Newsman Francis Pharcellus Church responded with an eloquent, and thought-provoking piece, one that is still relevant today.

Many of us know the main quote from it, but that is the tip of the wondruous iceberg that the writing is. It contains thoughts about what the belief in Santa means, and why we should never stop believing in something like that. So much of the things we do and love is tied up in the same childlike excitment that made us believe in a guy who delivers toys on Christmas Eve. Being how cynical a world we have become I like to post it every year as a hope that you, and myself, remember that sometimes you just need to believe in something and avoid the skepticism that abounds.

I reprint it here and wish you all a very Happy Holiday.

"DEAR EDITOR: I am 8 years old.
"Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus.
"Papa says, 'If you see it in THE SUN it's so.'
"Please tell me the truth; is there a Santa Claus?

"VIRGINIA O'HANLON.
"115 WEST NINETY-FIFTH STREET."


VIRGINIA, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except [what] they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men's or children's, are little. In this great universe of ours man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect, as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.

Yes, VIRGINIA, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus. It would be as dreary as if there were no VIRGINIAS. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The eternal light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.

Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies! You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas Eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if they did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that's no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.

You may tear apart the baby's rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived, could tear apart. Only faith, fancy, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, VIRGINIA, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.

No Santa Claus! Thank God! he lives, and he lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay, ten times ten thousand years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.
- posted by Brian @ 12/24/2008 09:57:00 AM

 
The Post with my Top 10 List of Christmas Specials
When I was little my mom made tapes of all the Christmas specials that the networks would show every year. (Most recently most of this specials are shown on ABC Family during the 25 days of Christmas). I've gone through them a few times recently and felt like ranking the specials.

Now these are just specials and not movies- so no National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation or A Christmas Story (although I'm not a huge fan of that one). And no very special episodes of regular tv shows- so no ALF Christmas show. These are just the shows that make us long to be kids again. And the shows that I will pass on to my kids one day.

10. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

- It was never my favorite back in the day because the claymation looks really odd in it. When I watched it recently I realized it doesn't hold up very well anymore. However, it does enough to earn the 10 spot. Rudolph, his elf friend Hermie, and Yukon Conrelius battle bumbles and meet Misfit Toys as they travel along trying to get Rudolph to the front of Santa's reindeer team.

9. Christmas Eve on Sesame Street

- Story is told in three parts with a couple different stories. Big Bird is trying to figure out how Santa Claus gets down the chimney to deliver toys and decides to camp out on the roof. He falls asleep just as a shadow arrives and drops off toys. Mystery unsolved. Bert and Ernie experience a littl Gift of the Magi as Bert sells his paper clip collection to buy Ernie a soap dish for Rubber Duckie and Ernie sells Rubber Duckie to buy Bert a cigar box for his paper clips. Lastly Cookie Monster writes to Santa about all the cookies he wants for Christmas and unknowningly eats all his tools for writing in the process. Great stuff at the end with Cookie Monster talking over the credits.

8. Santa Claus is Coming to Town

- Burgermeister Meisterberger rules over Sombertown and has outlawed toys. A young orphan shows up on his doorstep named "Claus" He has him taken away and the baby ends up in the hands of the Kringle family. From there we get rationale for why Snata goes down chimneys (Meisterberger was mad at him delivering toys so he ordered all doors and windows locked), uses flying reindeer, and only comes once a year. It's a great speical that has grown on me over the years.

7. Twas the Night Before Christmas

- Clement Moore's classic poem gets the animated treatment here as a young mouse writes a letter calling Santa a fake and signs it "all of us." Santa decides to not visit the town after this and the mouse's dad and the local clockmaker set in motion a plan to get Kris Kringle to reconsider. The young mouse accidentally messes up the plan and must scramble to fix things before the stroke of midnight. Really nice and a breezy 30 minutes.

6. How the Grinch Stole Christmas

- Dr. Seuss' book is given a great treatment here in the story of a grinch who wants the Who's to be miserable like him. He steals their toys, decorations and everything trying to rip the Christmas spirit from them only to hear them wake up singing Christmas morning. It's then he realizes what Christmas is really about an d sets out to make amends.

5. Mickey's Christmas Carol

- Mickey plays Bob Crachit and Scrooge McDuck plays Ebenezer Scrooge in this retelling of the Dickens classic. Scrooge is a miser who wants to keep all his money and won't even donate to the poor. That night he is visited by Jacob Marley (Goofy) and is taken on a journey of his life to see where his greedy ways will get him. At the end he changes and becomes a more giving person. Typical Disney awesomeness.

4. Frosty the Snowman

- Karen and her classmates build a snowman and then threw circumstances get a magician's hat and it brings Frosty to life. They then need to try and stay away from the magician who wwants his hat back. The chase leads to a greenhouse where Santa appears and sets the magician straight. Two great moments in this. 1.) The ticket taker freaking out and yelling, "No money, no ticket." 2.) The narrator calling Frosty the fastest bellywhopper in all the world. I still break that out at random points around the holidays.

3. A Garfield Christmas

- One of the sadly forgotten specials this time of year. Jon, Odie, and Garfield head out to the farm where Jon grew up to spend the holidays with his family. Garfield and Grandma grow a special bond together as they both just sit around and do nothing. Odie meanwhile is busy out in the barn. Garfield follows him and finds a bunch of letters Grandma's former husband wrote to her. Garfield gives her these for Christmas and she brightens up and becomes much cheeier. Odie then gives Garfield the back scratcher he made for him. Sweet,and brisk 30 minutes.

2. A Charlie Brown Christmas

- Charlie Brown is looking for the true meaning of Christmas. He is disinterested in the commercialization of the season and how people are more concerned with gifts. On the advice of Lucy he becomes director of the play and gets aggravated with people trying to modernize it. He sets out to buy a tree and buys the smallest one he can find deeming it perfect for the performance. The kids laugh at him and when Charlie is at his wits end Linus hits us with the Bible story about Christmas and the kids lighten up on Charlie Brown. They then decorate his tree and sing, "Hark, the Herald Angles Sing." A pretty cool show, and I love how Charles Schultz stuck to his guns on thsi one and didn't back down from the network.

1. A Muppet Family Christmas

- Easily my favorite thing ever.

Doc and Sprocket from Fraggle Rock head out to the country side for a quiet Christmas as the house of Fozzie Bear's grandmother who is heading to Hawaii. Unknown to her Fozzie has gathered together all the gang and is heading to her place as a surprise. They get there and wreak havoc on the house and her plans.

Then when it seems crazy- the Sesame Street gang shows up caroling and the party is bigger.

Kermit and his nephew Robin head downstairs to see who gave him a pebble for Christmas and meet the Fraggles.

In addition to all this we get a segment of the Muppet Babies which means 4 of the best shows from my youth combine into one and we get 10 minutes of carols that follow 40 minutes of classic Muppet Mayhem.

So much to love about this show:

- Swedish Chef thinking Big Bird is the Christmas Turkey
- Fozzie Bear and the Snowman doing their comedy routine
- Watch the icy patch
- Sprocket trying to point out the Fraggles to Doc
- Bert, Ernie, and Doc with their small talk
- The actual turkey and Gonzo battling over the chicken
- Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem ripping out Jingle Bell Rock.



There is a lot to mention.

So that's my list.
- posted by Brian @ 12/23/2008 06:01:00 PM

 
The post with my weekend
3 extar days gave me a 5 day weekend. I had a long weekend and had a post all typed up for these past 5 days but my computer whacked out and I lost it and I refuse to rewrite a long post again so here is the Cliff's Notes version.

Wednesday:

- Doctor's appointment for possible oral thrush, doctors thinks might be acid reflux- gives me prescription for medicene
-Go to gym
- Pick up scrip
- Go out shopping with mom to pick out my new MP3 player for Christmas. 4 GB Zune down from my old 20 GB Rio. Yes less songs, but easier to find songs which I wanted
- Muppet Christmas Special (Good time to mention tomorrow's blog will have my top 10 Christmas specials. Wednesday will be what I normally post on Christmas Eve)


Thursday:

- Blood work
- Gym. Hard to do with a sore arm, and with no food all morning
- Shower, and some dinner
- Trivia- we stank


Friday:

- Picked up new glasses
- Went to Quakertown shopping
- Bought a 4 inch Grinder for dad at Sears
- Looked at digitial picture frames for mom. Liked one at Wal-Mart but wanted to check it up online before I bought it.
- Saw Yes Man- snuck a Subway hoagie into the movies again
- Jumped into Seven Pounds which was horrible (Good time to mention next week will be my top 10 country songs of the year, 15 tv shows, and I will rank every movie I've seen this year from worst to first.)
- Came home and ate dinner


Saturday:

- Gym
- Picture frame station at Wal-Mart was crazy and all the frames had security tags on them
-Bought baking supplies
- Ate dinner
- Aattempted to bake. I'm a better cook, but the stuff didn't turn out too awful bad- Caramel filled Chocolate Cookies
- Watched Ricky Bobby and some football

Sunday:

- Did Jesus Hometown program at Sunday School. Kids did good with teh goofy idea we had.
- Watched football
- Cleaned up papers and VHS tape sin my room which freed a ton of space.
- Watched the Giants-Panthers game which was excellent


THE END/
- posted by Brian @ 12/22/2008 04:32:00 PM

 
This Week's NFL picks
Back again with some quick hit thoughts. Currently I'm 2-0 this week with Indy and Baltimore winning their games. The past two weeks I've gone 22-10 which is pretty good and sits me at: 132-92- which is very respectable I suppose. 2-0 so far so let's see how hot I can end this season:

SUNDAY'S GAMES
Arizona at New England- Arizona does not travel well and they are locked into the playoffs. Plus in the snowy weather can't pick them.

Cincinnati at Cleveland- A battle of dogs. I like the Bengals skill players better.

Miami at Kansas City- The Chiefs are tough at home but the Dolphins need this one bad. I like them on the road.

New Orleans at Detroit- Got to pick against the Lions although they have a shot here

Pittsburgh at Tennessee- Tennessee seems to be coming back to earth.

San Diego at Tampa Bay- The Chargers are inconsistent but need this one.

San Francisco at St. Louis- Like what Singletary is doing with the Niners

Atlanta at Minnesota- Minnesota at home gets the nod here.

Buffalo at Denver- Denver finally locks up the AFC West.

Houston at Oakland- Houston seems to be streaking right now.

N.Y. Jets at Seattle- Got to like the Jets

Philadelphia at Washington- Washington is just a dead team right now

Carolina at N.Y. Giants- Going with the Panthers in a mini-upset

MONDAY'S GAME
Green Bay at Chicago- The Bears will absolutely need this one to keep pace.
- posted by Brian @ 12/21/2008 09:46:00 AM

 
The Post with my most recent weekend
One more weekend down and we are a few days closer to Christmas (woo-hoo!!)

Friday I was off and it was nice to just be able to not have to go into work and just get some stuff done that needs to get done.

I got up and headed over to the eye doctor to get my standard check-up. I really wish the eye doctor's office could get moving through there down to a better science. It takes forever. My appointment was for 10 am and until I got done with everything it was about 11:20. However, I really like my doctor Layla.

Anyway, I needed to get new contacts because she said there were quite a few deposits on the right contact. So they put that order in for me and they will probably take like a week or so. Also, since I had some Flexible spending money to go through I asked them to get me new frames for my glasses as well. So I had to go talk to the guy at the glasses counter. about that.

After that I had to run into the mall for a couple minutes so I hit that place up. Then I needed to hit the Goodwill store to try and pick up an ugly sweater for my Christmas party on Saturday night. I did the best I could but the amount of ugly sweaters had been picked pretty clean by that point.

What a weird place that is to walk around. In some ways you feel sort of bad. There are people in there who absolutely need to shop there because you can tell they don't make a ton of cash. I can easily afford more than what those clothes cost, and on top of that I'm buying something just to make fun of it. It just felt weird.

After the Goodwill store i drove over to Bob's Tires to get 4 new wheels put on the Blazer. I have always really liked their work. They are quick and the prices aren't that bad at all. 4 tires with mounting, balancing, and taxes cost 395 which is hard to argue with.

After that I headed over to the gym and got in a good hour long workout. I hit the treadmill for about 25 minutes and then hit the elliptical for 20, before going all out for 20 on the weight machines. Good workout I got going.

Went home and showered and then ate dinner. Around 9:30 I went out and met up with Joel and his sister to head out to 80's night. It was a pretty good night and the place wasn't nearly as full as it normally is so that was nice. I saw an old friend from high school and talked with him for a little. Also a plus, DJ Dave didn't play that dumbass 500 miles song. Seriously, why does anyone like that song- why did anyone ever like that song? I would rather listen to Michael Bolton warble through every song he's ever sung than that stupid 500 miles garbage.

So anyway. I stopped at Wal-Mart on the way home to spend some more of my FSA account which has roughly 300 dollars to go before the end of the year. So I bought some OTC medications but that can only knock so much out of my account. I rifled through the list trying to find stuff to buy but you can only do so much. I did by a ton of condoms though because even if I don't use them I may be able to sell them for profit at some point. They are good til May of 2011 so within 2 and a half years I may need to use them regularly- who knows.

Saturday during the day I didn't really do much of anything. I'm going through my old VHS collections to see what I can throw away after I dump stuff onto DVD. I went through the Saturday Night Live tapes and there is probably two discs worth of stuff on there that I will keep. After that it all goes. I have some actual VHS movies too I need to do something with before I dump them. Should be able to clear up some nice shelf space.

Saturday night I had my ugly sweater Christmas party which was a lot of fun. As I figured my sweater wasn't even close to being the ugliest. Tons of food there which was all good- BBQ, meatballs, chips with some kind of bean dip, cookies, brownies, tiramusu, plenty of beer- yes I ate very well.

We had a little gift exchange which went well. I got a movie called The Contract. Surprisingly I've never heard of it. But it does have Morgan Freeman, and one of my favorite actors John Cusack so it's got to be decent.

After that we played some board games. We started with Cranium but the guys were winning so we had to switch games. We moved to Mad Gab and again the guys were winning and we had to change rules. That's how house rules works.

Mad Gab is a lot of fun for those of you who have never played it. The cards have phrases on them, called mondegreens, that look like nonsense but are actually saying something. For example the card may read, "These If Hill Wore," which translates to "The Civil War." Say it a few times fast. The trick is to change the speed in saying the phrases and don't get stuck to just normal pronunciations. Like in that example the "se" syllable matches with the "if" syllable.

What I take as a badge of honor during the game was this, Tiff said at one point, "No offense guys but this is more we need to stump Brian." That's funny too because Richard got pretty many too, so he was as strong as I was at the game. Although it is always nice to be singled out as the strong spot of a team.

By the time I got home and got to bed it was a little after 1. So I crawled into bed and slept like a rock until my alarm scared the shit out of me at 8 am.

Have you ever had a sleep like that? You need to have at least 100 in your lifetime, or you are missing out. Maybe you've been out partying, or maybe you're just dead tired. Here's a thing about sleep- lots of times we are sort of restless and don't know it. We wake up differently than we went to bed or we feel like we barely got any sleep. The type of sleep I'm talking about is this: You set your alarm and are out the minute you hit your pillow. You are in such a deep sleep your alarm literally scares you when it wakes you up. You wake up in the exact same spot you were and feel a little sluggish at first but after that little bit of time you feel completely refreshed because you soundly slept.

Anyway. After I woke up I went off to Sunday School to do my teaching stuff. There wasn't much to teach because we are currently getting ready for our Jesus Hometown thing for the Christmas program. My class was given the job of being sandal makers so we are working on that. I stayed at the church until a little after 11 to try and finish up some things so I won't have to go in on Saturday morning.

Went home then and watched the football games which were excellent all day long. Falcons-Bucs and Bills-Jets had two really good games. The cut-ins then to Titans-Texans, and Chiefs-Chargers were great as well. The Ravens-Steelers had a great game which ended on a controversial note. I don't know how the ref had conclusive evidence that the ball was in the end zone. It looked way too close to call. After that I watched some things until the Giants-Cowboys game which was good but kind of a letdown coming off the rest of the day.

Fell asleep around 10:45 missing the rest of the nightcap game. And now here I am.
- posted by Brian @ 12/15/2008 02:21:00 PM

 
This week's NFL Picks
Good week last week, going 11-5. Let's keep it short and sweet this week again.

SUNDAY'S GAMES
Buffalo at N.Y. Jets
Detroit at Indianapolis
Green Bay at Jacksonville
San Diego at Kansas City
San Francisco at Miami
Seattle at St. Louis
Tampa Bay at Atlanta
Tennessee at Houston
Washington at Cincinnati
Denver at Carolina
Minnesota at Arizona
New England at Oakland
Pittsburgh at Baltimore
N.Y. Giants at Dallas

MONDAY'S GAME
Cleveland at Philadelphia
- posted by Brian @ 12/14/2008 09:13:00 AM

 
The Post with tonight's NFL pick
Both teams absolutely need this game tonight. They are trying to stay in the playoff race. Saints are in last in the NFC South but are still 7-6. The Bears are second in the NFC North and 7-6. The loser is probably 95% out of a playoff berth. Needless to say- desperation will be in full force tonight.

The Saints are a fun offense to watch. They are fast, high-scoring, and big play happy. They also have one of the best quarterbacks in the game right now. The Bears are more deliberate and play a brutal style of football. The difference to me is this. The Saints love that style of play and excel in it. If the Bears dictate the pace of the game they win because the Saints can't match their intensity and physicality. If the Saints turn it into a high scoring shootout the Bears will have problems.

You need to remember when these two teams met in the NFC title game two years ago in Chicago, the Bears absolutley blew the Saints out of the water after the half and walked into the Super Bowl. I think you get the same thing here. The Saints will hang for a while but in the end you can only run around for so long. It's like the typical big man versus little man boxing match. Speed is good, and you can stay away from the power for a while. When it catches you though it has some force to it.

Bears win and stay alive
- posted by Brian @ 12/11/2008 11:25:00 AM

 
The Post with my injury
Do you know how painful a sore nipple is?

It hurts like you wouldn't believe.

Saturday I went to the gym and did 5 and a half miles on the treadmill in an hour. I had on a T-Shirt (one of my smaller sized ones), a long sleeved shirt, and a sweatshirt. Needles to say I had a bunch of sweat pouring after this workout.

After that I went to Wal-Mart. Now sweating like crazy and then walking out into 20 degree weather is a bad idea. More so based on what I was wearing.

Apparently with the sweating, and the tight shirt, and then the cold- at some point my left nipple got rubbed raw.

I of course didn't know this until I got in the shower and a stream of hot water hit that area of my frame. Again, lots of pain involved in that.

All Saturday night my nipple itched like crazy. Also it stayed hard most of the night (or maybe I was overly excited).

Sunday I forgot about it and again the stream of hot water hit it and I remembered fairly quickly.

This time I looked to see what was happening and saw a cut under the center area of the nipple along with the rawness of it. It hurt pretty crazily.

So the past two nights at the gym I've had to apply a band-aid to that area to keep my shirt from rubbing against the area.

I feel such like a chick.
- posted by Brian @ 12/10/2008 02:02:00 PM

 
The Post with my most recent weekend
One more weekend down.

Friday night I needed something that was sort of cheap to keep my costs down. So I decided to just head to the movies and catch a few flicks. Ran into Target first to try and buy some things but the sale they had had been depleted already so I couldn't buy anything.

Then I headed into the movies to catch a few films. First up was the new Punisher movie which was sort of ridiculous. It almost felt like a parody of a superhero/vigilante movie. The main villian went from mob character to silly Dick Tracy criminal in one scene. After that he tacked on the most hacky sounding Bronx accent ever. It seemed like the actors were having fun with the material but boy was it ever stupid.

Basically it was ~2 hours of people being shot. I think if you were taking a shot for every bullet fired on screen- you and the next 7 generations of your family would die from alcohol poisioning. No joke, I bet the final scene had 500 rounds fired. It did have some pretty cool set pieces but otherwise sort of fell flat.

After that I stepped in to check out Four Christmases which was ok but just felt like it was lacking something. There were a few great lines issued by Vince Vaughan but something just felt off. The directing was kind of wonky too. The director just couldn't seem to get the right shots for Reese and Vince. Kristin Chenowith was in it and looked good as always. Robert Duvall is always great to me and he got some good work here. Also Jon Favreau and Vaughn work well together but the rest was sort of lacking, or not as funny as the people involved thought it was.

Headed home after that and did some minor things before going to bed.

Saturday I got up and putzed around before heading to the gym. At the gym I jogged on the treadmill for about an hour and covered 5.20 miles which was a fairly decent haul for me, and the first time in a while I tried to hit the illustrious hour mark.

Becasue I sweat like crazy at the gym I just keep the shorts on the go to Wal-Mart. People there are ridiculous. I've just sweated through my clothes and wearing pants on top of that would've been awful. People stare at you like you have a thrid arm growing out of your forehead. People were literally looking at me the whole time. Who cares dumbasses?

Went home and saw that my HDMI cable came for the Blu Ray player so I ate lunch and then went about hooking that up. Love the new thing. You can tell a difference between the two and I'm gald I have that hooked up for the new TV now. I watched a few scenes from different DVD's to see how they looked on the screen. Most look fine. My dvd's I make off the computer will look a little goofy though depending on the video quality of the file.

At night I went to a shower for a friend (yes men were invited). Had a really good time as pretty much the whole camping group was there. There was a ton of food as well. Hot wing dip, soft pretzels, pizza, pulled pork, turkey, veggies, bread bowl, etc...And plenty of beer. Had a good time hanging out and partying with the usual supects. Again though I ate way too much food. Someone made peanut brittle and there were some awesome cookies there which were great. Plus there was candy scattered throughout which I always like.

While we were there it started snowing sort of hard and we had a little bit of a covering until the night was over.

Sunday I went into do my Sunday School thing. Then I came home, and had to clean up my room. I try to dust it semi-regulalry but it's hard to get into because 1. it's a pain and 2.) I'm a guy so it's not really high on my priority list. I did get through a good portion of it and my room is less dusty then it was.

I also got some burn time out of my black cherry candle. My room needed some ambience.

After that I watched some football. The Eagles-Giants had a pretty good game. Ate dinner, and played some Wii boxing after the Dallas-Pittsburgh game ended. Talk about a game that had a huge momentum swing.

After that I watched some of the Animation Domination block and then headed into bed.

Here I am today.
- posted by Brian @ 12/08/2008 01:59:00 PM

 
The Post with this week's NFL Picks
So here is where I stand on my picks heading into the home stretch. Currently I am 110-82 on the season. Last year I won 168 games. With 4 weeks to go and 11 playoff games that means there are 75 games left to pick. That means I would need to go 58-17 to reach last year's total. Considering how bad my picks have been most weeks I think I need to settle on coming as close to last year as I can.



Couple things have led to this demise but the main offender is something The Sports Guy touched on in his one recent ESPN column. There's no home field advantage anymore in the NFL. With the advent of state of the art stadiums comes higher ticket prices, which causes the rowdies to stay home or relegate themselves to staying in the parking lot to tailgate and watch on tv's. This leads to a passive atmosphere at times and takes away the 11th man. A team like Pittsburgh still has a pretty decent home field advantage but that also has something to do with the field they play on.



Case in point is this stat I heard on Mike & MIke this morning. The past two weeks the home team is 10-22. 12 games under .500 for teams at a time of the year when you need to defend home turf. Even against a team like Carolina you would think cold, and snow would favor the Green Bay Packers- yet there they were constantly blowing a lead.before finally losing. Losing at home to the Falcons probably put the final nail in the coffin of the Chargers playoff hopes.



Granted some of the match-ups have been pretty tough for home teams but to play 12 under .500 is just unacceptable in November/December. On the year it's just as bad with the home team going 76-111- horrendous.



Now what really worries me is looking over my tenative picks this week, and realizing how often I like the home teams in these games. Again I feel doomed to failure this year. But let's trudge ahead with the knowledge that I'm already 1-0 this week. In fact, maybe they should move all games to Thursday as I'm 5-2 on that night. Oh well





THURSDAY'S GAME
Oakland at San Diego- I had my Bolts and they came through

SUNDAY'S GAMES
Atlanta at New Orleans- Tough game to call. Atlanta is a really good team and battling for a playoff spot that is still within their reach. New Orleans is uneven but a completely different team at home. They are one team that actually does protect home field. Let's assume both teams play they have throughout the year. New Orleans should be able to gouge the Falcon pass defense. The Falcons should be able to gouge the Saints run defense. Let's try going with the home team and say the Saints win this in a game they have to have.


Cincinnati at Indianapolis- Cincinnati stinks. Indianapolis does not.



Cleveland at Tennessee- Cleveland stinks. Tennessee does not.



Houston at Green Bay- There is just no way Green Bay loses 2 straight home games, especially with the Texans this week. Also, fans in Green Bay need to ease up on Aaron Rodgers. It's the defense that has let them down this year, not the quarterback.



Jacksonville at Chicago- At this point this is a lost season for the Jaguars. Way too many injuries including the offensive line just being gutted. Most teams can withstand losing a guard or a center- but when both guards and the center go down to injuries that's hard to overcome. Chicago needs this game and they get it at home.



Minnesota at Detroit- I wanted to pull the UPSET SPECIAL trigger here but I just don't have the guts for it. Whether the Williams play or not I like Minnesota in this.



Philadelphia at N.Y. Giants- The Eagles absolutely need this game to stay in the playoff hunt. The Giants have been mired in nonsense this week with Plaxico Buress pulling one of the most bone-headed stunts in NFL history. The Giants are the best team in football but I think they might get tripped up here as the Donovan redemption tour rolls into Philly. (Rachel I stuck with my initial thoughts)



Dallas at Pittsburgh- Really tough game to call this week. I said in my intro that Pittsburgh is good at holding serve but they have played a murderous stretch of schedule and at some point it has to come down right? This is a prime time for it. Dallas had the extra couple days off after a laugher against the Seahawks. The Steelers are coming off a hard fought victory against the Patriots in Foxboro. The key difference here is the fact that DeMarcus Ware and Marion Barber might not play. If they play I like their chances a lot. If they don't I think the Steelers have the edge. I'll assume they play and the Cowboys pull the mild upset.



Kansas City at Denver- The AFC West has become to the NFL what According to Jim is to TV. Critics wish it would just go away yet there is is just chugging along as the Chargers do their best to pressure the Broncos (According to Jim is apparently still on the air on ABC- good for Jim Belushi but this show is reaching like Seinfeld level longevity, with Friends and King of Queens on the horizon). If Denver loses to KC for the second time this year they should be embarassed and be forced to give up the AFC West playoff bid- and not to the Chargers either.



Miami at Buffalo- Buffalo gave up its home field advantage for this game moving it to Toronto. Then on top of it with the weather slated to be in the 30's and snowing Toronto doesn't want to open the roof to the Skydome. So a warm weather team (with a quarterback having a great year playing under perfect conditions for his arm) comes to a snowy area and you play down that edge. Perfect. That said- I'll stupidly go with the Bills



New England at Seattle- Seattle stinks. New England is uneven but at their worst is still better than the Seahawks



N.Y. Jets at San Francisco- Got to forgive the Jets for last week. Bad weather, and a few goofy plays led to a loss last week. This week they head out west and hand it to Mike Singletary's boys/



St. Louis at Arizona- Arizona is one of the few teams that plays considerably better at home than on the road.



Washington at Baltimore- The Battle of the Beltway, or whatever they hell they call that stretch through D.C. Baltimore is shcoking people this year becasue while they are still playing great defense they are playing offense that matches that. They are averaging ~30 points over the past 6 weeks. Think about that. A Baltimore Raven team that doesn't need to heavily rely on defense. The Redskins season has been as up and down as one can get. By week 6 people had them winning the NFC and unseating the Giants in the division, and Jason Campbell was the MVP of the league. By now people are declaring Jason Campbell is down this year and the Redskins might be another year away from contending. They are like the chick who is the hottest person in her 9th grade claass on graduation day. You leave for the summer come back to Senior High and she is way down the list. Just peaking too soon.


So yeah, Washington is that.


MONDAY'S GAME



Tampa Bay at Carolina- Whoever wins this game has an in-road to winning the NFC South. The other has to battle a scrum of teams for a Wild Card berth. The Tampa Bay defense has been stellar this year. They've given up 200 points all year which is second in the NFL. Carolina just keeps finding ways to win, including that goofy game in Green Bay last week. This is one of those- don't have faith in the home team games. Besides, Jeff Garcia is the quintissential do what you need to do to win quarterback. I like the Carolina running game but I don't think they'll find gaps here. I like a close game. A hard nosed game, but one the visiting team ultimately wins.
- posted by Brian @ 12/05/2008 02:19:00 PM

 
The Post with some gym stories
I know it's not the new year yet when I start really hammering with stories of gym nonsense, but there are a few stories that I can't sit on for a month. Plus the new year will bring newer stories with all the people trying to live their resolutions.

So just two little mini stories. There is always so much fun at the gym. You meet all kinds of people- some cool, but mostly annoying or obnoxious types.

Like: Inappropriately short shorts guy.

This guy is usually in there with his wife (who alone and with her husband is a whole 'nother barrel of fun). They work out together and the guy is kind of oddly-proportioned. He has really long legs and a short torso. On top of that he is kind of bulky which makes him look even stranger.

Most times of the year he wears shorts and the shorts are just that- short. Like incredibly short. Then figure into the equation that as you work out your shorts ride up on you depending what you do. Considering he spends a majority of his cardio time on the rower and bicycle they ride up. I'm fairly certain that at some point a person has gotten on the bicycle after him and been sitting in his ball bag sweat which is incredibly gross. Then instead of adjusting the shorts he just walks around the gym like that. Has anyone ever felt comfortable with their shorts doing an upside-down V into their crotch? I'm fairly certain the guy is uncomfortable and just trying to be a hardass about it. Seriously dude, it's a gym- people don't care if you adjust yourself. You're sweating , it's hot- it's acceptable.

Then there is: Constantly on a workout talking to himself guy

Easily more of a douche than the first guy. This guy is probably in his 40's with a partially bald/partially shaved head. He has a poor man's 70's style porn stache. Like it's there, but it's shaven down against the skin. He has a bulky frame (not muscle) and really skinny legs and arms. The skinny legs and bulky torso make him look like a reverse weeble.

From the minute he walks into the gym he is breathing like a crazy person. You've all probably lifted weights at some point in your life so you know the technique. Exhale as you press the weight, inhale as you bring it back to the start position. This guy takes that to heart. As he gets dressed in the locker room he is breathing like this. Everytime he does something like open his locker, or put on his shirt you hear a loud exhale. It's absurd. Some have said maybe he has a breathing problem but that's not the case as he doesn't do it in the parking lot walking into the actual place.

So anyway- after he gets done playing in the locker room he goes to a treadmill- with his weight-lifting gloves on. I can't remember a time I've ever seen him lift weights which would make the gloves silly. Anyway though, he gets on the treadmill and begins his walking pace of like 17 minutes a mile. He does walk uphill slightly throughout but nothing that is overly stimulating. 17 minute mile, is 17 minute mile for the most part.

At various times throughout his time on the treadmill he will spastically begin stretching his arms and shoulders. There is really nothing in running that requires you to stretch your pecs or anything in your arm area. However there he is every few minutes pumping himself up as he walks.

Then he talks to himself on the treadmill- I think. I wear headphones so it is possible he is talking to me or someone else and I'm just not paying attention. The problem is- I don't know if he is criticizing what I'm doing or just babbling to himself. Sometimes I run intervals on the treadmill (5 minutes running, 2-3 minutes jogging, 2-3 minutes walking, repeat), and everytime I touch the speed button the guy begins talking. This leads me to think he is saying something about what I am doing which does bother me slightly on some level.

I could really care less what other people do on the machines around me. I notice him because he is very animated, and he almost always ends up on a treadmill next to me. What you're doing on the treadmill is not my business. If you want to walk for an hour have at it. If you want to run like crazy have at it. My speed and pace is not dependent on what you are doing unlike

+1 guy

The doucheiest of the three. This is the guy who also finds a spot next to you on the treadmill. His mission though is far more nefarious. He is intently following what you do on the treadmill. Not so he can be nosy but rather so he can top you.

For example, let's go back to my interval running stuff.

I'll start at a 10 minute mile pace for 5 minutes. He'll have to do a 9:50 mile. Then you drop it down to a jogging pace of 12:00 a mile. He has to go 11:45. Everything you do, he has to go one tick faster. And he has to be noticeable about it. You could run for a minute and he will go up there. As soon as you drop down, he drops down. It's annoying- and one day I will just karate thrust him in the chest.

More gym stories some day
- posted by Brian @ 12/03/2008 02:04:00 PM