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Wednesday, October 27, 2004
Halloween Weekend
It occurred to me today that it is time again for me to conduct my horror movie marathon since it is that time of year. I love horror films so 7 years ago (while in 10th grade) I decided to start marathoning the films into one night and then trying to be unscared enough to get some sleep. Last year I broke tradition and spread the viewings out over one week which in hindsight worked out better.
However what occurred to me was since the holiday is on a Sunday this year Saturday is the best day for such an event (provided my beloved Red Sox haven't locked up the World Series by then), the problem is no one will be home so I will be all by myself. That has never happened before as even last year I kept the door wide open to my room and even moved down into the lobby for a while to watch the films (although glass window walls freaked me out more). So why does someone who is a horror movie lover need someone around him. Easy- I have an overactive imagination. Plus it's why I love the films. They give me the willies and have me scared and looking oover my shoulder for days (especially if they're good). This past week has all ready been bad becasue I have not gotten much sleep after watching The Grudge....The first two nights took me forever to go to bed. So the point to all this.....
If you'd like to keep me company you're welcome to show up at my house and mamke sure I don't get to scared...if not a pox on you all
Monday, October 25, 2004
2 mini rants for everyone
Sorry for the lag between updates but I've been in a depressed mood lately so it hasn't been a good time for it......But two things caught my eye over the weekend and put me back in the right mood so some mini rants for everyone.
Ashlee Simpson on SNL
I hate to do this but I'm going to defend Ms. Simpson. Not because I think she's attractive (which I don't) or because I think her music is good (which I also don't). However everyone is blasting her over this "lip-synching" incident when technically it isn't lip synching. Many artists pre-record tracks to help boost their vocals in a performance. And really at 12:30 in the morning you're voice probably isn't in top shape.
Also many singers pre-record music to sing. Singers do it all the time when they perform the Star Spangled Banner because it is a difficult song to sing. People are acting like this is a new thing and it isn't. Look I don't totally hate teen pop, and I don't totally hate Ashlee Simpson but I do hate people taking every opportunity to jump on someone and proclaim it as some great insight.
Vote or Die
I know MTV is trying to do something good by encouraging young people to vote but thney are so completely off in their campaign it isn't even funny. P Diddy, Paris Hilton and other celebrities are shown sitting and telling young people to vote and then closing with the saying, "Vote or Die" Really P Diddy? Is it that extreme? I don't think some kind of threatening act like this is necessary. Not only that but it seems to be encouraging uninformed voters to the polls. A better way to conduct the ads would be to have P Diddy sitting there and have him say, "Bush says this about Health Care, John Kerry says this. Whose side are you on." The ads shoudl be done non-committal to either party. They should present each candidates side of various issues and then use that tagline. It would create a discussion between young people, "I'm with Bush or I'm with Kerry" Also it is dropping in the issues. So people are getting the message and getting the facts. So an A for effort but an F in execution.
Sunday, October 17, 2004
The Reeses Peanut Butter Cup Review of Team America: World Police
Matt Stone and Trey Parker caused worlds of controversy with their first mainstream motion picture South Park: Bigger, Longer, & Uncut by vulgarly sending up Disney musicals and basically mocking how people blame the entertainment industry for all the trouble kids cause. Keep in mind this was in thr months following the Columbine murders.
Parker and Stone are back at it with their new movie which has already caused people like Matt Drudge, Bill O'Reilly, and Sean Penn to decry the filmmakers as mocking the war and promoting ignorance among the voting citizens of the United States....To classify this movie as that though does a disservice to the film.
Team America is a group of vigilantes that live in Mount Rushmore and plan on thwarting the attacks by terrorists with WMD's. The team blows up famous French landmarks at the beginning and following them all up with shrugs of indifference...When a group of survivors gathers aroudn them they say, "Don't worry everyone we've killed the terrorists" Meanwhile in the background France burns and landmarks lay in rubble.
A member of the team is lost and then they bring in a new recruit from the musical Lease, where we are treated to the first of many songs in the film, "Everyone has AIDS."
The new guy falls in love with the blonde woman in the group and they engage in sexual positions that are usually reserved for porn films.... It is disturbing but outright hilarious.
The film however finds its footing (and message ultimately) after the hysterics surrounding the beginning scenes. The Film Actors Guild led by Alec Baldwin speaks out against the team and eventually get locked up with Kim Jong Il in his plan for domination...(BTW Film Actors Guild is used for several sight gags I guess throughout the film--hint look at the acronym). These celebrities are where the harshest blows are launched with many of the suspects you'd expect and some that puzzled me a little (What did Helen Hunt do?)
In the end you're love or hate of the film will come from how you feel about the issues being presented. Parker & Stone seem to be in my same beliefs so I love what they were doing...But for those who don't share those views there are enough jabs at the other side to make everyone come out loving something about this film....
The songs are top notch again (The title song is America: Fuck Yeah). The shots at political figures are mostly right on. The shots at celebrities are hilarious (Pearl Harbor gets bashed mightily)....And if nothing else works for you the ending where the whole issue is boiled down to the three dirtiest parts of the human body you will be laughing outloud....My stomach hurt from laughing so much at this film.....There is enough low-brow humor for the South Park fans and enough high-brow humor for the other end of the spectrum...
Like it or not but Parker and Stone are probably the greatest satirial artists of our time so check this film out...........3 & 1/2 cups out of 4
Thursday, October 14, 2004
gOOD STUFF
Even the biggest of idiots and morons screw up eventually...If you hate Bill O' Reily click this link
This week has sucked some major ass....Work is getting worse, my Red Sox are dying a slow very painful death...and my mood is becoming more disparaging by the day......Hockey starts this coming Sunday so that is positive hopefully that goes well...enjoy.....where are my people commenting
gOOD STUFF
Even the biggest of idiots and morons screw up eventually...If you hate Bill O' Reily click this link
This week has sucked some major ass....Work is getting worse, my Red Sox are dying a slow very painful death...and my mood is becoming more disparaging by the day......Hockey starts this coming Sunday so that is positive hopefully that goes well...enjoy.....where are my people commenting
Monday, October 11, 2004
An Official Message from the Offices of Brian Hansley Inc.
I've watched the first two episodes of Desperate Housewives and guess what I loved em....If the readers want I will review the episodes here if not then i won't...In any regard reviews of Super Size Me and Farenheit 9/11 wil be up in the next couple days
A real story
Yesterday I walked into WaWa to get the Sunday Reading Eagle and some OJ and my tastykake......I walked in on one side of the counter and started towards the juice cooler. From the other side of the conter walked these three girls that were dressed rather revealingly. At first I thought they were probably 13 or 14 if lucky but then when the one headed towards the juice cooler I saw her twirling a set of car keys so she had to be at least 16 maybe 17 at the most. She was wearing a spaghetti strap midriff shirt with those new form fitting sweatpants that just barely go above the ass (with no underwear mind you- It was hard not to notice." So she opens the juice cooler door and bends down to get out what she wanted. Now I'm a gentleman so I turned my head away while she fiddled in the cooler. When she was done she said, "Are you going in here?" I said, "Yeah." So she says, "OK" and preceeds to hold the door for me while I got my juice. I says "Thanks," she says "No problem" and then is on her way out of the aisle....Well I was going that way anyway so I was walking behind her, when I saw a guy walking towards us perpendicular to the aisle. As she passed he stares and then lets out a , "WOW!" and then gets this smile on his face as he shakes his head and then stares at her again until her form disappeared behind the counter. Now this guy was probably 35 or 36 so he could conceivably have a daughter that is the same age as this girl or awfully close. To ogle a girl that age is just wrong and immoral. I'm not against thinking what he did because I'm a guy so it did cross my mind (once I realized the one was at least 16) that they were attractive but I kept that to myself. To outwardly express that feeling, in a public place, and in a voice that the girl probably heard him no less is even worse.
He really should be ashamed of himself but I know he wasn't. That's just sad.
So in conclusion : opinions are not immoral until they are outwardly expressed at which point they become actions.
Tuesday, October 05, 2004
The Reese's Peanut Butter Cup Review of Lost
Yes I know its not a movie but I decided to branch into this stint of episodic television as it is the only thing that gives me joy right now. I was intrigued by the prospect of Lost when I read about it. Some critics described it as Gilligan's Island meets Jurassic Park. Plus it's written by J.J. Abrahams (sp?) so it was at least worth a look. The first episode was a two-parter so here is my review:
The show starts with Jack, a doctor, running around and trying to help people that he saw lying in flaming wreckage on a remote island. He pulls one man from under the wing to see him missing half of his leg. He then calms down a pregnant woman and saves her life although he is to late to save a man that is sucked into the motor of the plane. After carnage we begin to learn that the 48 people on this island were traveling from Australia by plane when turbulence occurred and the plane blew apart. There is a lot of uneasiness and sadness as people come to grips with what happened and hold out hope that a rescue party is en route.
Jack meets Kate an attractive woman who he gets to sew up his cut on his back. He then suggests that they go look for the transceiver from the plane to call for help. As they travel day suddenly turns into night and the three of them (the third a former rock star) hear strange nosies and take shelter in the cockpit. They find the pilot who points them to what they want and says that they were 1,000 miles off course when they went down, it concludes with the chiling words, "They're looking for us in the wrong place". The pilot then sticks his head out the window and is pulled out. Later they find him bloodied and lying dead in a tree 50 feet off the ground.
Hour two is more of the people getting to know each other as they find out their was a convict being trasported to the states on the plane. 5 of the group, led by Kate, trek to the mountain to get signal for the transceiver to work. They are attacked by an animal which the one guy shoots dead with a gun he pulled off the marshal on the plane. The animal is a polar bear which raises the obvious question of how it got on the island. Meanwhile Jack, tries to remove shrapnel from the man with a missing leg and when the man comes to he says, "I'm a US marshal, where is she?" A flashback shows us the criminal on board was Kate. They find a spot for the 'ceiver to work but they can't get out cause someone is already sending out a signal. The girl who speaks French deciphers what is being said and realizes it is a distress signal. Then one of the group figures out the number coded pattern and says its been playing for 16 years. This leads the rock star to say, "Guys-where are we?" Thus ends the 2 hour pilot.
I can say this show is probably better than I just described it but there is so much going on not only in the actions of the people but the conversations and non-actions of the people. You can tell there is an uneasiness at this point among many of them as they are tired and don't trust each other. I'm glad too that a doctor was on the plane because it is really contrived when a pizza maker is in a story and all of a sudden he is a medical expert. There is so many ways I though things were going in the pilot and it went another way. That is good. There are hints of things like Lord of the Flies, Jurassic Park, and yes there is a lot of humor at times. Hopefully the writers and creators take this interesting premise and don't cheat its viewers as it is already gaining a lot of viewers....
I can only give it one grade 4 out of 4 cups...........Wednesday nights at 8 on ABC
Monday, October 04, 2004
An Official Message from the Offices of Brian Hansley Inc.
It's over! I quit! You win! Congratulations!!
