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Tuesday, August 26, 2003
I'm through my first cycle of classes for the last semester here at Millersville and I think I'll be ok. My classes don't seem extremely hard but there seems to be some amount of work for them- mostly papers though- so I won't be totally in the woods. Plus I only have 4 classes so I'll have ample time to get work done, at least enough to pass my classes. The teachers seem interesting for the most part, except for the notable exception that my Logic professor looks like the main villian from Troll 2. (Which had really nothing to do with Troll's and more to do with Goblins. But I can explain that some other time on a personal basis if need be). Wrestling last night was the definition of RAWFUL. I'm glad I didn't schedule any try-outs last night because I'd never have anyone to ever watch it with. Also today I talked to Matthias a little so we could start hammering out some details about Escape From Bassler Hall. I hope it ends up as funny as it is in my mind at least. That's all for now as I need to print out a report off the Internet so I'll talk to you all later.
Sunday, August 24, 2003
So I sit here today on the first day of my last semester at Millersville, mad because I'm missing Summerslam on Pay-Per-View. Things don't always work out for the best I guess. This past weekend was fun and teh Hansley's as always when they get together know how to have a good time. Volleyball was an action-packed, insult-laden affair as always and a good time was had by all. My cousin Andy is now married and the party was for his wedding reception. So Rose is now in the Hansley fold. But remember what I said Rose . Andy and I are born into this family- we have no choice...You married in willingly...= ......Back to school....I'm ready for another year of my sports column, another year of my Television Show and the filming of Escape From Bassler Hall....Matthias, Craig, and the rest are a crazy bunch so I can't wait to be a part of filming with them....Even with it being a stupid little pet project, I've coerced Matthias into. I've posted some special things today with previously promised postings. I put up a great paper I wrote for 401 up here, and I posted my monologue from the night I hosted the premiere of The Warden, and yes I am brass enough to include pauses for applause in my writing...SO SUE ME......I still have to review Freddy vs. Jason but let me say...awesome movie-the match-up didin;t disappoint and there is supposedly more to come but I'll touch on that in my review. I also need to post the summer movies of years past you should give a look to...So that's it...Back at school so I'll post more regularly now- I PROMISE....Later
How's everybody doing?........Oh come on we can do better than that....We're almost done finals, about to watch the world premiere of a great movie how's everybody doing?.......Much better.
Welcome to the World Premiere of The Warden. The people involved would like to thank you for being here tonight and would like to invite you to hang around after the movie for a question and answer segment and a behind the scenes video so you can see some of the offbeat shenanigans that goes on while making a film.
So about two months ago I get this letter in the mail. It says, "We've seen your show on MUTV and would like to offer you the opportunity to host the world premiere of a new superhero movie."I figure that'd be cool. I thought how do I pass an opportunity like that. It would be great to host the new X-MEN movie's world premiere. I was so excited by the prospect I didn't realize the flaws in my belief. For example, the envelope the letter came in didn't have the FOX logo on it. See when you get a letter from FOX it has their logo and letterhead on it. I know that because I've gotten a few letters from FOX--Mostly Cease and desist letters, but letters nonetheless.
Yeah--Write a couple letters to Jennifer Love Hewitt and everyone gets upset. Ok they weren't so much letters as they were pictures--but well we'll leave it at that.
Then I couldn't figure out how Fox even knew who I was. I couldn't believe they even watched MUTV. Then I saw that Miss America Dog Show they put on last week and thought. If I put shows like that on my channel I'd watch something else too.
You know that the executives at Fox watch the network like most people do horror movies. (Covers eyes with hands) Oh man who Hired Monica Lewinsky? Married by America what were we thinking?
But still, I was excited believing that it was still going to be the X-Men 2 premiere. So I came here and lo and behold there's no X-Men. There's no Superman. There's not even a Green Arrow. I figured if anyone could show up it would be the Green Arrow. You know that guy was last in line the day they handed out superpowers.
"Yeah I'm here for my superpower." "Ok. How about you'll be able to leap tall buildings in a single bound and be faster than a speeding bullet. Also you'll be The Man of Steel with superhuman strength." "I like it." "I'm here for my superpower." "How about, you'll be able to breathe underwater and control the fishes." "OK, practical." "Sorry I'm late; can I get my superpower now? "Yeah I guess. How about you can shoot arrows that are green?" "That's it. Superman got like 15 different powers." "Take it or leave it pal."
Seriously that�s his only superpower, and it�s not even really a good one. I mean I�ve watched the Olympics where they do the archery contests, Bob Costas never says, �Some great competition between the superheroes out there today.� What�s next a superhero who can shoot a rifle. Great the entire NRA is superheroes then. But then again most of them already think they are so I guess it�s par for the course.
Then some other superheroes got shafted unintentionally. The Flash is supposedly a hero with lightning fast speed, which is pretty cool--Yet Superman can outrun him...So what makes The Flash special. He�s the fastest man in the world...�Just don�t ask him to race Superman.�
Superman is like the godfather of superheroes. You know he goes to a bar picking up chicks like �You know that Flash I can outrun him. Spiderman needs that web to get to the top of buildings--I just jump them.�
I'm actually glad I got invited, even though I have some problems with superheroes. Like take Batman for instance. I mean the guy is this sophisticated millionaire socialite Bruce Wayne. Sorry if I ruined that for anyone. I know there's someone in the room where the light just went on. "AH HA Bruce Wayne is Batman." Clark Kent is Superman by the way since I�m revealing all the secrets.
Anyway, I mean the guy is at a party hobnobbing with all the bigwigs in the community, "Hi I'm Bruce Wayne. Head of Wayne Enterprises." Then someone runs into the room, "Hey there is trouble downtown, the bat signal is up." "Um could you excuse me for a second? I got to use the bathroom, That champagne went right through me." Then he disappears into the bathroom for like 3 hours and nobody checks on him. I mean the guy is a respected member of the community and in three hours nobody at least knocks on the door like, "Hey buddy you coming out of there."
Speaking of Batman, you guys can look at Batman as inspiration. I mean even if this movie is bad it can�t be any worse than Joel Schumacher�s Batman and Robin. When did Batman become a participant in Cirque de Soleil? Was that a new superpower I missed? You now have the ability to pull off the high-rise tightrope act. Those films were so bad Elton John even called Schumacher and said he thought the movie was a little light in the loafers.
I may have problems with superheroes and crime fighters, but I have more problems with crime solvers like that Scooby Doo gang. Every show was the same they'd drive around in the woods and stop at these old abandoned amusement parks. Because the first place you would stop is an amusement park with the gate-chained shut and a No Trespassing sign spray painted on the gate. For twenty minutes they'd run around the place and then at the end would be the big unveiling of the criminal, you know where they tear the mask off and see who it really was. They're like; "it was Mr. Johnson, the amusement park director." Well he was the only other guy in the cartoon besides your gang--I figured out it was him 15 minutes ago. Maybe if you'd spend less time hanging out with the Harlem Globetrotters you would've known too.
Let�s get to why everyone is here tonight. The people who will stand before you tonight and present the movie they have worked on for the past year possess superpowers of their own. More normal, practical superpowers. They have the ability to sit in a dark editing room for 10-12 hours a day and not care what the weather is like outside. They have the ability to sleep only like 2 hours a night and need only a pot of coffee to get them ready for the day. They also have the ability to forego all their schoolwork to focus on something else. I actually have that to but it was always called laziness. In all seriousness, they had the ability to carefully script, plot out, and film all the scenes for this film, and deal with scheduling issues, people, and the overall hassles that go with making a film. It is my great honor to present to you the Minds behind the film you are about to see, Vance Spicer, Harry Turner, Amanda Sollenberger, and Matthias Sundberg.
�The new boy in the neighborhood lives downstairs and it�s understood. He�s there just to take good care of me, like he�s one of the family.� That was the sound that greeted me when I turned on my television last night when once again I couldn�t fall asleep. That is quite possibly the worst feeling in the world. You�re extremely tired and so you go to bed hoping to get at least a couple hours of sleep before tomorrow comes. Yet no matter how you lay, sleep just isn�t happening. When I can�t sleep I flip through the channels on television looking for something to watch. Watch any television after midnight and the channels look like a dumping ground for bad television shows. Full House, Dinosaurs, and The A-Team are a few of the shows I�ve watched after most people have already gone to bed. (In retrospect, I messed up in 301. My final paper should have been a study of how many times I can hear Mr. T call Murdock a �fool,� before it stops being funny). Flipping through the channels on television is a lot like trying to get comfortable when you sleep. You move around, trying to settle on the one thing that will work for you. I�m sure everybody has some crazy position they can sleep in, just as they have some goofy television show they will watch when it�s on, which leads me to what this paper is all about.
When I flip through the channels, I almost always end up on some show that I would never ever admit to watching. It�s what you could call a guilty pleasure. I�m sure we all have them. There is a movie we love, TV show we watch, or song we like that nobody must know about. Why do we do this? Maybe it�s because admitting we like something that isn�t particularly �cool� could seriously alter our social standing. We always encounter that feeling that we need to fit in, and adjust our tastes to the tastes of a group. In high school, my friend and I hung out with a group of kids where all we did was drive around listening to Guns and Roses Appetite for Destruction. If they group would have found out we were secretly trading Styx and Supertramp albums we would have been ousted from the group.
Music actually is probably the biggest thing we try to fit to other people�s tastes and not our own. If you and your friends are heading somewhere in your car and a certain song comes on the radio you probably switch the station as quickly as possible. As everybody voices their displeasure with the song that was just on, you throw in your two cents and agree with the pack. However, you�re by yourself and the same song comes on the radio, and you get caught up in it. It happens to us even with terrible songs. Actually, especially with terrible songs. For example, take a song like �Y-M-C-A,� by the Village People. You�re never going to admit to your group of friends that you don�t find the song completely annoying. However, if it comes on in your car you are a little more inclined to listen to it and admit what you wouldn�t dare tell your friends. Go to a dance, or any other place where they might play that song, and watch how almost everybody gets caught up in the song. It�s like some unspoken acceptance of the song in social situations. There are many times when I felt like I was in a Twilight Zone episode the first time I saw that phenomena (The Twilight Zone by the way is another show that I watch when I can�t sleep, even though they never show my favorite episode).
Seriously, if everyone watched the same things, and listened to the same things, there would be some people that wouldn�t have careers. There would be no Britney Spears songs, no Pauly Shore movies, and no Tom Arnold television shows. Actually maybe uniformity isn�t such a bad thing. Three-quarters of the entertainment industry is made up of people who shouldn�t have careers anyway, so we could weed out the good from the terrible (For those wondering I put Eminem in the one-quarter portion. Britney Spears too, but I�m a guy so it has nothing to do with her �talent�).
Watching television always leads me to ask what is going to be our generations shows that our kids will watch in syndication. I used to watch shows like Taxi, Happy Days, Sanford and Son, and most importantly All in the Family (If you don�t know any of these shows then you�re a �big dummy�). These were shows that our parents� generation left for us. Besides Seinfeld, The Simpsons, and Friends what are we leaving for our kids? I fear too many of the shows we will leave will be of the kind I mentioned earlier. Shows that we will need to be ready to defend to our children when they ask, �Why did you watch this show?� So actually it won�t be any different than it is now. Defending our favorite things to people regardless of the consequences. So start practicing, tell everyone you love Savage Garden songs, Brendan Fraser movies, and you can�t go another minute without watching Charles in Charge (The show whose theme song I mentioned at the beginning). Or better yet don�t. Yeah better just keep it to yourself.
Monday, August 18, 2003
As I sit here watching RAW I realize that come next week I'll have to sit and watch wrestling all by myself again for the semester since my wrestling watching buddy is in Florida....So I'm thinking that I need someone new to watch with so I'm thinking about holding auditions to be the new buddy. Next week during RAW we will hold 15 minute tryouts where you will have to sit through a whole quarterhour with me to see if I think you fit to watch wrestling with me. Sign up for an appointment at a time that works for you. Here's the chart:
9:00-9:15
9:15-9:30
9:30-9:45
9:45-10:00
10:00-10:15
10:15-10:30
10:30-10:45
1045:-11:00
11:00-11:15
That is the schedule to get in contact with me about a time that works for you next Monday. Later
Sunday, August 17, 2003
Here is the best 20 summer movies list...Contact me if you want explanations:
20. The Fugitive
19. T2 Judgment Day
18. Unforgiven
17. American Pie
16. Die Hard
15. Spiderman
14. The Lion King
13. Shrek
12. The Usual Suspects
11. The Sixth Sense
10. Raiders of the Lost Ark
9. Gladiator
8. Jaws
7. Forrest Gump
6. Ghostbusters
5 Back to the Future
4. Independence Day
3. There's Something About Mary
2. Jurassic Park
1. Saving Private Ryan
Wednesday, August 13, 2003
It's been a while again but I have a good excues this time. First off, I was working on the script for the coming soon Made-For-MUTV movie. Matthias is working on taking my bizarre and probably poorly written script and making it sparkle. The movie is loaded with parodies but that is all I will say about it. I love the suspense of surprises. Also, I've been working on getting my paperwork done for my internship this summer. I'm almost there.
In other news, today I went to the mall and bought House of 1000 Corpses. I also bought Don DeLillo's new book Cosmopolis last week. I can't wait to start reading that book. My brother and I had a Kodak moment Friday as he watched The Texas Chainsaw Massacre for the first time. When asked what he thought all he could say was, "It was weird." Weird is an understatement.
I have also finished the list of the best summer movies and will put that up tomorrow sometime. The worst one is right behind it as long as the top 20 underappreciated of the summer. That list is mostly newer films. This past weekend was spent hangin out at my house with piggy because all our plans got screwed up for Saturday and SUnday by the dreaded acts of God.
That's all I got Later
Tuesday, August 05, 2003
Ralphie May was ROBBED!!!!!!!! Once again the fat man is held down. The revolution is coming, and oh yeah it will be televised
My heart didn't stop overnight the other day because of the pierogies, I just left in an extra day for dramatic effect.
I'm working on the script for Escape From Bassler Hall and it is starting to come together a little bit. I'll have to have Matthias read over it so he can make changes. He's as close to a professional at movie making that I'll ever meet.
I'm working on the list for the best summer movies of the past 30 years. Harder than it sounds. I've eliminated sequels for the most part because that's not fair to have two movies representing one franchise in the same list. I've also thought about it and refuse to put Star Wars on the list because it is a classic. It's like when people make lists of the bet songs ever and put, "Stairway to Heaven." It's a given that it is there (Although it wouldn't even show up in my top 10. Maybe I'll do that list sometime this summer)....That list should be up tomorrow sometime with the other two to follow shortly thereafter.
Ralphie May better win Last Comic Standing
Sunday, August 03, 2003
The dreams have reached 4 days and are still confusing....Although I think my earier beliefs have changed a little
I got Blackhawk Down today on VHS for nothing....The goof luck role continues--and I thought the black cat crossing my path last ngiht was the death knell. Still I know that bad luck's a coming
It'd be ok if I never saw another pierogie ever again in my entire life. Atwork tonight we made 12 extra pierogies by accident, and since nobody else liked them I had to eat some of them to not waste them. I got through 10 before I quit...My heart will probably stop overnight.
Fox tomorrow and I've only got two more weeks of that to go. I'm kinda ready for the end.
Someone let me know about the Alabama concert in two weeks. Can anyone go?
LATER
Saturday, August 02, 2003
I put up a review of American Pie 3 which you should check out and if you feel the need give only intelligent feedback. The best things happened this week. First I bought the magazine Maxim Blender and it came with a free cd of up and coming artists. Then I bought Daredevil at Suncoast and got a free Batman 35th Anniversary dvd with it...I was geeked for that. BTW the Daredevil DVD is way off the hook. Loaded with facts about the films, comic books, and a great guide for the uneducated about the series. Also it is now 3 nights in a row that I've had that dream. I'm starting to get really worried now. I'll get over it I guess but for now I'm goign to bed again..because for now my dreams are better than reality......Later
American Wedding
A select group of your friends from Great Falls High are horny and rarin' to make you laugh again. This time around, Jim asks Michelle to marry him and as the duo set out to get hitched, their parents meet, their friends prepare for the festivities and a new girl, the bride-to-be's younger sister, joins the fray in order to beef up the film's paper-thin screenplay. Stifler ensues!!
What we are looking at here is hopeful the last chapter in this story. I've enjoyed this films but after leaving the theater I thought to myself, They can stop making these now. First off, the story is basically just like everything they've done before. It is built around 4-6 major gags with with the plot being built around that. Except in this film the plot is paper thin. I mean it's see-thru. For starters, the movie is all about Stifler. The movie is about 90 minutes long (if that) and Stifler is on screen about 65 to 70 of those minutes, and when he isn't on screen stuff is being built up to involve him. Now don't get me wrong I like the Stifler character-because we all know someone like him. Full of prepubscent bombast and being naive enough to believe the lies and hype he spreads about himself. Also he fulfills the emotional voids he has by putting down others while admiring their ability to stay true to their own course. It is a very deep character to portray in these films and is an overall strong point of the films (More on that later). However, Stifler is good in small doses. When the movie is built around him, it becomes tedious and strenous. The main thing I noticed while watching this film in a crowded theater was the different reactions to all three films. Think back when you saw the first two films in theaters it was hard to hear parts because people were laughing throughout the film. In this one when the major gags weren't going down there was very little laughter. Also the reaction to Stifler's lines gradually decreased throughout the film. Also the film is way to quick and the edits make the movie breeze along when a little more development would have helped. Lastly, the film was missing something without the whole cast there. There was a sense of emptiness because people like Chris Klein, Mena Suvari, Tara Reid, and Natasha Lyonne weren't in this film. Lyonne was one of the best characters in the whole series. Plus I defy anyone to tell me one of the best moments of the first movie was Klein's Oz saying, "Suck Me Beautiful." Priceless. There is a scene where Jim thanks Finch, Kevin, and Stifler for being there through it all for him and helping him. Stifler wasn't liked by any of them during the first film. I guess they couldn't talk Klein into a short cameo though. That scene just felt empty without Oz, for completion sake if nothing else.
In the end though there is a lot to like about this movie and series. The best scene in the film involves an exchange between Finch and Stifler with a girl in the middle. Also the opening is very hilarious, as well as the whole bachelor party thing. (Which includes some nice nudity if you look for that stuff.) The best part about this series was that it treated the kids as people who made silly decisions at times but honestly believed they were the right ones. It treated kids like adults and you can tell the writer's cared about the characters. You laugh at Jim, but you feel for him too because as he says, "I always have these grand plans, and then screw them up." This movie is a fitting end to the series while simultaneously not being a great film, but there is some closure to the series and that's all you can ask in these situations. ----------------------------C+
