The Post with this week's News you can't use
Dateline- Erie, Pennsylvania

http://cbs3.com/watercooler/local_story_243112127.html

- So the plan was to visit a "she-male" site so you could make a joke about it. Couldn't thinkof anything off the top of your head.
There is no joking involved in all this. Two peanuts were walking down the street, one was a salted- that's a joke. Looking up transgender porn- where's the punchline?

Dateline- Lafayette, Indiana

http://www.cbs46.com/news/14011967/detail.html

- If a cop pulls you over because you're 5 year old son is driving your car and your response is "Well he's a good driver," you're kind of missing the whole issue here. How do you know the kid is a good driver anyway? Puttering around the living room dodging toys and furniture in your Big Wheel really has no bearing on how well you will drive in traffic. Plus pretty sure that little toy popper with the balls inside you push around isn't coming at you doing 55 mph.

Dateline- Aurora, Illinois

http://www.suntimes.com/news/metro/532233,CST-NWS-cyberstalk29.article

- I'm glad they narrowed it down on myspace some because most of the grammar looks exactly like that. Stalking a Playmate who probably has 5000 fake friends like Pimply Pete from Texas who worships at an altar he constructed in his basement to her isn't smart. Hell maybe I'm all wrong and Pimply Pete did it.

He called her "white trash," that's not really a good opening line.

Dateline- Indiana

http://nwitimes.com/articles/2007/08/30/updates/breaking_news/doc46d6db2f5580a989132697.txt

- Words don't describe how stupid this guy must be. Think about this- middle of the day, on a major highway, completely naked, masturbating. Seriously what do you say to all that. Maybe if he'd have pulled himself into the fast lane. Get it? Yeah it was lame.

Dateline- Hilliard, Ohio

http://www.pal-item.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070830/UPDATES/70830013

- Being a person who was a troublemaker in high school I can fully appreciate the brillance that went into pulling this off. Just outstanding all around. The school is completely overreacting to this by the way. Innocent fun in a time when too many kids are engaging in fun that requires hurting someone physcially should be looked at with a smile.
- posted by Brian @ 8/31/2007 02:14:00 PM

 
The Post with me not knowning what to say.
The Phillies just swept the Mets! I'm too shocked to speak.

See for yourself:

http://scores.espn.go.com/mlb/boxscore?gameId=270830122


Also Billy Wagner can go suck donkey dicks
- posted by Brian @ 8/30/2007 02:31:00 PM

 
The Post with some mild excitment to keep me happy
Kind of an uneventful weekend for me which I guess was a welcome change.

Friday night I saw "Resurrecting the Champ" which was a really good little film. It was directed by the guy who did "The Contender" and "The Last Castle" and starred Samuel L. Jackson and Josh Hartnett. It was a really nice little story with some twists along the way. I loved the payoff at the end and the whole closing 5 minutes of the movie.

Saturday I was outside most of the day before coming in and trying to catch up on some episodes of "Big Love" and "Degrassi" On Love I didn't see the one little turn coming at all and I can't wait to see how it goes. On Degrassi they need to decide whether they want Paige to be a lesbian or not. The whole her and Alex saga is getting a little silly. PLus they didn't do enough with Emma. (Yes I watch Canadian young adult/teenage melodramas)

For dinner Saturday I tried out this new recipe I found for something called Cola Chicken. It's chicken breasts, diet coke, and ketchup. It was even better than I imagined it would be. Really good taste. I cooked up some california blend vegetables to go along with it. Delicious stuff all around.

Saturday night aroudn 3 am we have a huge thunder storm. Lightning and everything. My dog is all upset because of this. Plus he's a big baby so he is shaking from the storm. However he gets himself all worked up so he has to go outside. I tell him to hurry.

We get outside and about 10 steps into the backyard it starts pouring down raining. So we play around for about a minute and then this huge lightning bolt streaks across the sky. It was beautiful and scary all at once. That seals it and we run inside. So that was a fun little excursion.

Next to nothing happens Sunday and Monday.

Last night I was watching the Phillies and man do I get geeky watching baseball. I was living and dying on every at bat and then finally Ryan Howard hits a walk-off home run and the Phillies win. This is their typical, "Hey fans keep up the hope because we're not done yet." Still though great win.


That's it for now I guess. Tonight I have the second of 3 fantasy drafts this week and it's a biggie so I'm all excited and fretting over who I will pick and where. So we will leave it there.
- posted by Brian @ 8/29/2007 02:12:00 PM

 
The Post with the News that Cures the Blues
It's that time of the week where we take a trip throughout the world by way of its dumbest people.


Dateline- Athens, GA:

http://www.waaytv.com/global/story.asp?s=6978333

- Pretty sure the best way to stay incognito about your hatred of the cops is to not go public with it. Use myspace for the reason it was created- making yourself seem way cooler than you are and griping about people privately in a public forum. Also if you're a gangster white kid flash some gang signs- I hear the chicks dig it.

Dateline- Burlington, CT (I believe)

http://www.900chml.com/news/news_local.cfm?cat=7428545912&rem=72991&red=80154523aPBIny&wids=410&gi=1&gm=news_local.cfm

- There have been all those stories lately about how the bees are in trouble becasue of colony collapse disorder. Apparently they are now learning how to outsmart humans. We could all be in trouble.

Seriously though wasn't it just a weeka go a person burnt their house down becasue of mosquitos. That I can see becasue of West Nile and all but bees. they sting once and die. It's not like they are a constant threat.

Dateline- Cinderella, New Zealand

http://www.stuff.co.nz/stuff/4175807a10.html

- There is no such thing as bad publicity right? I find it hard to believe Hitler would advocate eating pizza. I wonder what would be on.....you know what not even I can finish that statement- let's move on.

Dateline- England

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2007390383,00.html

- Ok so wait- You were worried how your dick would look in the dark? That's bad enough. But then you got your brother to be your stunt dick and basically bang your girlfriend for two months before she turns on the lights one night and sees what is going on?

The stupidity involved in this story is so deep that I think we would need a Congressional investigation to get to the bottom of it all.

2 months and she never got suspicious once? It didn't seem odd that the guy always had to take a piss when it was time to have sex and figured the best way to findthe bathroom was turning out the lights.

He should definitely be sued for rape but she should be countersued for stupidity.

Dateline- Quad City, Illinois

http://www.qctimes.com/articles/2007/08/23/news/local/doc46ce044ceaada716760965.txt

- Alcohol will kill you.

Honestly though- Does nobody just hold up a store anymore these days? He would've fared better had he just tucked it into his jacket like most normal people would do. At least then he could've made a run for it through the front door. Couple months in jail versus death. the choice is obvious.

A bonus one today:

Dateline- Rogers Park, Illinois

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/chicago/chi-jeffersonaug23,1,5503087.story?ctrack=1&cset=true

- Insult to a major injury.

Maybe there was a pedal-by shooting that he absolutely had to get to. The gun in the wasteband look is nice though.
- posted by Brian @ 8/24/2007 02:05:00 PM

 
The Post with me just checking in
I've been in and out of posting for a couple days this week because it's been a long, rough week.

That's all. Lots of stuff going on. I'll be here to check in on some news stories tomorrow and then I'm gonna recharge and hopefully be ready to go again next week.
- posted by Brian @ 8/23/2007 02:40:00 PM

 
The Post with two happy endings to the same bad story
Anyone who knows me knows I love dogs. I have pretty much always had one in my life and think they are the best house animals in the world.


So of course like most of America I was disgusted by the Michael Vick story where he was basically killing dogs for sport.

So happy ending one came Monday when it was announced he was most likely looking at somewhere between 12-18 months in prison (hopefully more if the state of Virginia gets involved).

The second happy ending came yesterday when I read that an animal shelter in Atlanta was accepting donations of Michael Vick jerseys. They have received a couple hundred jerseys and are using them as blankets for the dogs and as towels to clean up dog messes.


See- justice prevails than the cute animals get their revenge.
- posted by Brian @ 8/22/2007 02:42:00 PM

 
The Post with like a few notes
- I'm pretty sure I'm being jerked around again.

- HBO may have pissed me off by canceling Deadwood and putting on that god awful John From Cincinnati, but as long as they keep Big Love around we're all good.


That's all
- posted by Brian @ 8/20/2007 02:17:00 PM

 
The Post with this week's news
Montgomery County, Pennsylvania

http://www.11alive.com/news/watercooler/article_weird.aspx?storyid=101753

- I'm so depressed the gator didn't do more damage to the guy. The guy is treating this like he is the Crocodile Hunter and wrestled a 6 foot long croc. The thing is tiny- super tiny. The guy could've treated it like a giant bully treats the small kid in junior high but he went and showed off and is now bragging.

Fort Gratiot Township, Michigan

http://apnews1.iwon.com/article/20070817/D8R2L4NG0.html

- First off, what would possibly motivate you to think that you're friend is playing a practical joke in a convenience store with a toy gun. You hang out with the wrong kinds of people if your friends pull jokes like that. Then you grab the guy without being sure it's your friend. A bullet would've been nicer but a bump on the head fits in this instance. Although most assuredly the guy had nothing in there to hurt.

Tasmania

http://www.news.com.au/mercury/story/0,22884,22262491-5005940,00.html?1

- And how many people say our country isn't that great. Poisioned underwear? Honestly- how do you poison someone's underwear? Short of like injecting some Hep C virus into them I don't see how that works.

Las Vegas, Nevada

http://people.monstersandcritics.com/news/article_1343685.php/Siegfried_and_Roy_announce_theyre_gay

- Show of hands- who is shocked by this news? Anybody? Noone?

Maybe the tiger was a homophobe and that's why he attacked Roy-

Ok..moving on.

Washington, D.C.

http://www.cnn.com/2007/POLITICS/08/15/homeland.security.spying/index.html

- Oh god the mind blowingly bad example he threw in there. They will help during disasters like Hurricane Katrina. So wait- we could've done worse in how we responded and prevented Katrina.

Ponder that as we sign off til next week's news break.
- posted by Brian @ 8/17/2007 02:32:00 PM

 
The Post with me being back
After a vacation of a few days, and a day spent catching up yesterday I am back on Blogger for the stretch run again. Stretch run of what I'm not sure- but it sounded good.

So Saturday night I had a wedding to attend and for the most part it was an enjoyable time. I had fun like I always do, met some people, and re-met some people. However as usually happens when people decide to drink too much tempers flare and there were some arguments towards the end of the evening.

Here's the thing (and I want everyone to either take this advice and run with it or print this page and clip it for someone you know who fits this):

If you are incapable of going to something like a wedding or a party and staying cool while drinking then you absolutely 100% should not drink. There is no problem with people who want to have a good time and drink or even just drink and stay to themselves, but too many people decide they are tougher than they are- get miserable and then start picking fights or dragging other people down with them. So seriously if you can't drink with friends (both ones you know, and ones you've yet to meet) without becoming a card carrying member of Douchebags Anonymous than sit at the table- eat your meal, talk with people, but leave the drinks at the bar and the drinking up to people who are able to drink and still have a good time.

Even worse than all that was the fact that the bride and groom got sucked into fights or were forced to play peacemaker- on their wedding night. That is wrong on so many levels. It was their night and people acting stupid took away from that in some small fashion. I felt bad for the bride and groom who are good people that should've been able to celebrate without playing camp counselors for the last hour of the night.

Ok- rant over.

So anyway- Sunday morning I got up and went on vacation to Lake Raystown and had an absolute blast.

The ride out was nice with my friends Lindsey and Ryan, and we got some boat time in on Sunday night.

Monday we went out and got a long day of boating in that included some cliff jumping, water skiing, and tubing (and ending up with a headache). The ride was longer than anticipated because of some boat troubles on the way back where we had to cruise the remaining 17 miles of lake at 9.2 miles an hour.

Tuesday the boat was pretty much incapacitated as they tried to search for a way to get it fixed so they might be able to get out on Wedesday at least. I took the opportunity to take a walk on the nature trail and covered about 4-5 miles of trail all told til all was said and done.

Came home Tuesday night, picked up my car from its inspection, and then found my way to work yesterday morning. All told it was a good few days off and I'm looking forward to 2 more coming a day from now.
- posted by Brian @ 8/16/2007 02:09:00 PM

 
The Post with some news crusiing
That time of the week again- let's see what is in the news.





http://www.dailymail.com/story/News/2007081043/Man-says-hold-the-cheese-claims-McDonalds-didnt-sues-for-10-million/?shouldhavegonetoburgerking



- Hard to say first off if the guy actually said "No cheese" or not but that's not the point. Seriously 10 million dollars becasue you were a dumbass that didn't you know actually look at the food you were about to put in your mouth? The biggest problem with that is you are putting a lot of faith in the hands of workers who probably do disgusting things to your food all day long.



And 10 million dollars because two people risked their lives. That might be overstating your value slightly. I think McDonald's should counter-sue for like 6 million and say, "They were dumb enough to eat our food."



Falcon, Colorado- http://www.denverpost.com/news/ci_6591985



- Hey if teachers were showing stuff like "Erotic Confessions" or "Hostage" in class that would be one thing, but this wipes out like "Saving Private Ryan" and the like. I think we are getting real close (if we haven't hit it already) to the point where we collectively lose our minds as human beings and a civilization in general.



To be honest though, "Erotic Confessions" or something like that would've made science class far more interesting.



http://www.suntimes.com/news/metro/505496,roadrage081007.article



Their are no words to describe the stupidity involved in this adventure. I guess he figured if he was going down, he was going down with a fight.



Boston, Mass- http://http://www.myfoxboston.com/myfox/pages/Home/Detail?contentId=4025077&version=1&locale=EN-US&layoutCode=VSTY&pageId=1.1.1



I'm no marketing expert, but I'm fairly certain you aren't hitting your target demographic there. That's like putting a milk ad across the street from a person who is lactose intolerant.



Two Rivers, Wisconsin- http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/O/ODD_THEFT_BACKFIRES?SITE=AZTUC&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT



You know those Darwin Awards e-mails that go around every year? I'm giving these guys 5-1 odds to win this year
- posted by Brian @ 8/10/2007 02:37:00 PM

 
The Post with the new Teenage Game
I read a story yesterday on CNN.com about a Subway worker who was injured when a group of teenagers threw hot pepper juice in his face while playing a game called "Fire in the Hole." First thing I thought was not- I hope he's ok- becasue I'm a jerk, and it wasn't- Subways have drive thrus? No it was - what the hell is "fire in the hole?"

Further in the article it says how it is a game teenagers play that they film with video camera phones or whatever and then upload onto Youtube. I wondered to myself- why have I never heard of this? So I logged onto Youtube and looked up this particular game.

Here's what I found. Basically kids buy drinks, and then when the person hands it to them they wait a couple seconds, yell, "Fire in the Hole," and then throw it back at them. Need proof:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EQG2dytDKb4


Ok - a couple things.

1.) I'm all for messing with people at drive-thrus. I used to do it quite a bit. BUt when you are doing this kind of thing with the potential to hurt someone, or yourself then it's not as funny. (Although it does make me laugh)

2.) It's not as funny when they do it to chicks. There is one video where the guy does it to this cute blond chick working at a McDonalds who instead of throwing a drink at, he should've been asking if he could play with her Filet O' Fish .

3.) The saddest part of the video is that the kid they hit at the drive-thru is roughly the same age as them. So basically a kid who actually needs to work to make money is hit in the face by a kid who is most likely driving around with money in his pocket given to him yb mommy and daddy. That's troubling.

In conclusion- fun had at the expense of others that isn't meant to hurt is good times. Otherwise, not so much.
- posted by Brian @ 8/08/2007 01:59:00 PM

 
The Post with some heavy handed journalism
For those that don't follow sports or the news in general one of the big stories right now is what is going on with Michael Vick.

Here's the abridged version: The FBI raided Vick's house and found evidence that supported there was a dog fighting ring and training school being run from that address. They found rape stands, and dug up bodies of dogs that were deemed unable to fight. These people hung dogs, wet their fur and electrocuted them among other deplorable acts.

A federal grand jury levied charges and filed in court. They also said there would be additional charges as we go forward. They have 4 people ready to testify that Vick had a part in all this and knew it was going down on his property.

So invariably outrage ensued and Vick was picketed as were his sponsors from people that work at dog kennels and animal shelters and PETA (the only time I have ever been on the same side as them so write it down.)

Once outrage begins there comes dissenting voices. People who feel that the person being judged is the real victim in all this. Hence this article written and published on ESPN's website.


http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/eticket/story?page=vicksatlanta


A couple things make me angry about this. First off there is a whole logical chain you must ignore for this to be the case.

First you must believe that someone like Peyton Manning would get treated differently if he was involved in this.

Then you need to figure out why Vick is being treated this way then which has two options. 1.) He is black or 2.) He has had numerous run ins involving marijuana and a Herpes scare.

Which of those options is more likely?

The writer some have said is trying to paint a picture of why Atlanta is still stuck in the 50's and that it isn't a rosy picture all around the country racially as some paint it. That's fine but is this where you want to draw that inspiration. Apparently the author isn't even sold on his own premise as he says if Vick is found guilty he should be punished yet the whole article is trying to deflect away from all the evidence that has already been accumulated against him.

The other theory is that people are only this upset and forming a lynch mob because it was against animals. You cna argue where people versus animal rights thoughts should lie but in the end animals are totally trusting creatures and Vick and his gang (if found guilty) violated that trust. These people stomped a 50 pound dog to death. Seriously.

Look I'd be willing to bet there are people in positions of power that hire and fire or whatever based on color. Hang your hat on those stories. Don't try to silver line what is a despicable act by a person who has had numerous chances and still doesn't clean his act up.
- posted by Brian @ 8/07/2007 02:43:00 PM

 
The Post with me linking you to the news
Another Thursday and let's find the news of the weird and crazy out there this week.

Dateline Little Rock, Arkansas:

http://http://www.canadaeast.com/offbeat/article/42276

Forget Disney World- the happiest place on Earth is the Duggar bedroom. At least for Jim Bob. Seriously most women have a few kids and then make guys get the snippy snip, or "walk outside with an umbrella when it isn't raining" This lady just says, "Bring it On" Well either that or they haven't mastered the rhythm method of baby prevention. Considering the guys name is "Jim Bob" I'd say its even money.

Dateline Manchester, Conneticut

http://http://www.wfsb.com/news/13799921/detail.html

First off, I can see leaving your wallet in your pocket or money but nude pictures of your step daughter? What possible reason do you have for carrying them around- well other than the obvious? It's like this guy thought to himself "Taking pictures of my step daughter- that's ok but it just doesn't have that extra special creepy factor to it. I know I'll carry them around so if the mood strikes I can give myself a quick tug."

Dateline Berlin, Germany

http://http://uk.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUKL0284460120070802?rpc=92

Simple rule here. If you're fat or just overweight the best thign is to not draw attention to yourself. Stealing food from restaurants kind of opens you up to all kinds of jokes. I do think it is slightly admirable that he was running from the places I would guess trying to shed some pounds. Maybe next time steal a Tae-Bo video or soemthing.

Dateline Gadsden, Alabama

http://www.wsbtv.com/news/13799692/detail.html

Makes perfect sense. The mosquito problem is now gone but it is brought about second degree arson charges- so I'm thinking its a wash. Someone needs to introduce the lady to citronella.

And finally

Dateline Indianapolis, INdiana

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2007/0801072daycare1.html

I would think the give away was the 88 Oldsmobile parked out front. Seriously you basically painted a huge bullseye on your car. The best part to me is that the cop stood for two minutes without them noticing him. So did you watch for two minutes? What filled the time between you walking to the car and them noticing you. I could see if maybe it was a decent looking chick, or even two chicks but watching Bob Marley with a lazy eye and Large Marge have sex for two minutes is not defensible.
- posted by Brian @ 8/02/2007 02:24:00 PM

 
The Post with talking Phillies
Another trade deadline has come and gone in Major League Baseball and again the Phillies have made what essentially amounts to a few rearranging chairs on the deck of a sinking ship.

That isn't to say I think this season is hopeless. However, with the rash of injuries they have witnessed and an overall lack of supplying Charlie Manuel with good relievers, there is a sense of doom that accompanies every monring reading the disabled list.

At the start of the season the Phillies had Freddy Garcia, Cole Hamels, Jon Lieber, Brett Myers, Jamie Moyer, and Adam Eaton as starters. That was easily the best depth of any team in baseball. You had a guy who is a #1 starter, 2 guys who were on the verge of being #1's, a guy who is at best a #2, and two guys who are decent 4th or 5th starters. As usually happens though injuries came fast and hard leading Garcia and Lieber to the DL, and Tom Gordon's injury led to Myers being shuffled to the closer's position. This all left was with a rotation that now includes Hamels, Moyer, Eaton, a guy who was pitching in Double A this season Kyle Kendrick, and JD Durbin who isn't nearly as good as he thinks he is- (the guy proclaimed himself "The Real Deal" a few years ago).

So it was no surprise the Phillies would be looking for pitching help at as the days got closer to July 31st. With Tom Gordon and Brett Myers back and healthy it came them a fairly strong bullpen which heightened the spotlight on the starters. So what would Pat Gillick be able to get done- turns out not much. And while the collective voices of Phillies fans groan in anger at the moves, or lack thereof, there are a few things they need to keep in mind that colored this endgame.

First off, Chase Utley breaks his hand. That left a huge void in the Phillies line-up as they lost a guy who was an MVP candidate. (Silver lining- August is by far Utley's worst month careerwise- he hits .244) That made it harder to justify trading centerfielder Aaron Rowand because there was already a significant portion of the offense missing.

That meant the Phillies had two major league readys chips to offer- Shane Victorino and Michael Bourn. That changed though when Victorino tore his calf running out a grounder and then Bourn twisted his ankle tryign to navigate the old school mounds at Wrigley Field. In the span of 96 hours- the three biggest major league ready chips the Phillies had were off the table meaning the bigger deals would elude them.

They could've packaged Carlos Ruiz yet, becasue Jason Jaramillo at Triple A is rated higher than him all around and could come up and platoon a little, but that might stunt his growth- and there was really no need to start really screwing with the already shaky line-up.

Also for the first time in probably 6 years the Phillies farm system is stocked with pitchers who could probably be really good pitchers in a couple years. Two of them are at Reading and some are at Clearwater or other equal levels. They unloaded a couple lesser pitching prospects to get Iguchi and their big trade pickup- which leads us to that discussion.

The big name Gillick came up with is Kyle Lohse. Again the groans of Phillie fans could be heard. It's hard to get excited about a guy whose season numbers are 6-12 with a 4.58 ERA and a 1.34 WHIP (Walks+Hits/ Innings Pitched). However you must also keep in mind he has real low run support with the Reds offense something that shouldn't be a problem with a team that scores 5.5 runs per game- the most in the Majors. He isn't going to be an ace pitcher but he will give you what you need out of a 4 or 5 starter. Keep your team in the game enough where you can hopefully outscore the other team.

Yes, I'm not overly excited by the moves made by Gillick, but looking at the entire landscape I think he did what he could given the other factors leading in to all this.

I think it also is important to know that trading for someone like a Steve Trachsel, or Matt Morris would've meant most likely parting with a Michael Bourn who most liekly will be the starting centerfielder next year for the team if they let Rowand leave. At that price Trachsel or Morris isn't worth the risk or money you're paying them. You'd be better letting Kendrick in the rotation and hoping the clock doesn't strike midnight on him just yet. Also Freddy Garcia will possibly be back for the month of September and a Garcia at 90% is better than either of those other guys at 100% and you don't have to give up anything for him.

With all the injuries, and the overly inflated market Gillick was backed into a corner and didn't see a move he could make without blowing up the young nucleus they have, or the farm system stability he has helped re-establish. And even though its a bed he made for himself I'm glad he didn't feel the need to make a rash, most likely stupid move, to get out of it.
- posted by Brian @ 8/01/2007 02:07:00 PM