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Wednesday, November 30, 2005
The Post with more of Hell Week
Dear God & JC,
Hey it's Brian. Look I know it's been a while and admittedly I don't come to you as often as I probably should but you know me and all--hell you created me. I prefer the tried and true method of stubborningly facing my problems by myself without relying on other people. Thats the way I was made. Remember-
Ok, to my point. Look last week was cool. I had all the fun I figured I would and then some, but this week is surely taking away from all that. I can't say I didn't see it coming--I am a Hansley after all- but I still wish you'd take a day off. Monday was terrible, Tuesday was worse, today was worse than yesterday and tomorrow isn't shaping up any better. So I'm asking for a small favor. Friday is still not decided- I'm sure- so could you please just take it easy on me that day. I'm not asking you to change water into wine, rain sulfur on a city, or destroy a temple. Just a simple request of placing a shield over me on Friday so nothing can get in. I know you don't normally answer requests like this but I figured it was worth a shot. I anxiously await your response on Friday. See ya.
Brian Hansley.
P.S. I wish there were more friends willing to give me hugs to help me smile. Ok that was cheap
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
The Post wit me summizing my day
Today can be best summed up by this quote from Office Space
Peter Gibbons: So I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that's on the worst day of my life.
Dr. Swanson: What about today? Is today the worst day of your life?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah.
Dr. Swanson: Wow, that's messed up.
The only difference today was when I went out to my car I had a message on my phone from this really sweet, kind person which made my day considerably better.
Then I turned on my Sirius and flipped through the channels and was greeted by nothing by great songs....The all Springsteen channel was playing Badlands, the all Elvis channel was playing Jailhouse Rock. and the gold collection channel was playing Buddy Holly's Not Fade Away......And Outlaw Country was playing The Warren Brothers Change....
so my shitty work day was canceled out by a great person and great songs......So hah!
The Post with My Favorite Country Songs # 20-16
I again recommend you download and try some of these songs out, or comment in the blog--even if it's to tell me country music sucks and I'm an inbred hick for listening to it..It's cool--I'm just trying to broaden your spectrums
20. Watermelon Crawl
by: Tracy Byrd
Album: No Ordinary Man
Not every song needs to set the world on fire. Some can just make you feel good inside or make you giggle or in my case--make you dance like an idiot when you hear it and you're intoxicated---I also sang it at a honky tonk karoake bar in England so there. And for those wondering I have drank watermelon wine and it is great
I was driving thru Georgia in late July
On a day hot enough to make the Devil sigh
I saw a homemade sign written in red
Rind County Watermelon Festival Ahead
Well, I wasn't in a hurry so I slowed down
Took a two lane road to a one horse town
There was a party going on when I got there
I heard a welcome speech from a small town mayor
He said we got a hundred gallons of sweet red wine
Made from the biggest watermelons on the vine
Help yourself to some but obey the law
If you drink don't drive do the watermelon crawl
When the band started playing the watermelon queen said
Let me show you something that you ain't never seen
She grabbed me by the arm said come on let's go
She dipped down spun around and doe-see-doed
She rocked back on her heels dropped down to her knees
Crawled across the floor then she jumped back on her feet
She wiggled and she giggled beat all you ever saw
Said this is how you do the watermelon crawl
She said we got a hundred gallons of sweet red wine
Made from the biggest watermelons on the vine
Help yourself to some but obey the law
If you drink don't drive do the watermelon crawl
Well if you're ever down in Georgia round about July
If you ain't in a hurry then you oughta stop by
I can guarantee that you're gonna have a ball
Learning how to do the watermelon crawl
Well we got a hundred gallons of sweet red wine
Made from the biggest watermelons on the vine
Help yourself to some but obey the law
If you drink don't drive do the watermelon crawl
Do the watermelon crawl
Have fun you all
Do the watermelon crawl
19. Two More Bottles of Wine
by Emmylou Harris
Album: Quarter Moon in a Ten Cent Town
A country drinking song--go figure right? I consider it one of my favorite songs becasue Ms. Harris has a beautiful voice and to hear her sing this song about losing her man but being cool because she has her liquor just tickles me the right way. Of course when I snig it I change all the hes and stuff to she's but that's neither here nor there.
We came out west together with a common desire
The fever we had migtha set the west coast on fire
Two months later got trouble in mind
My baby moved out and left me behind
But it's all right 'cause it's midnight
And I got two more bottles of wine
The way he left sure turned my head around
Seemed like overnight she just up and put me down
Ain't gonna let it bother me today
I been workin' and I'm too tired anyway
But it's all right 'cause it's midnight
And I got two more bottles of wine
I'm sixteen hundred miles from the people I know
Been doin' all I can but opportunity sure come slow
Lord I'd be in the sun all day
But I'm sweepin' out a warehouse in west L.A.
But it's all right 'cause it's midnight
And I got two more bottles of wine
18. Trashy Women
by: Confederate Railroad
Album: Confederate Railroad
A song designed for beer-swilling hillbillies to say my woman might not be the best looking woman on the planet but she's mine and I love her. Ok so that's probably not what the boys of Confederate Railroad were going for but this is a song that became huge thanks to the line dance craze of the early 90's and has stood time because it is a fun song. Works off the simple premise of parents want us to be one thing so we go the other way
Well, I was raised in a sophisticated kind of style.
Yeah, my taste in music and women drove my folks half wild.
Mom and Dad had a plan for me,
It was debutantes and ear-symphonies,
But I like my music; I like my women wild.
Yeah, an' I like my women just a little on the trashy side,
When they wear their clothes too tight and their hair is dyed.
Too much lipstick an' er too much rouge,
Gets me excited, leaves me feeling confused.
An' I like my women just a little on the trashy side.
Shoulda seen the looks on the faces of my Dad and Mom,
When I showed up at the door with a date for the senior prom.
They said: "Well, pardon us son, she ain't no kid.
"That's a cocktail waitress in a Dolly Parton wig.
I said: "I know it dad, ain't she cool, that's the kind I dig."
Yeah, an' I like my women just a little on the trashy side,
When they wear their clothes too tight and their hair is dyed.
Too much lipstick an' er too much rouge,
Gets me excited, leaves me feeling confused.
An' I like my women just a little on the trashy side.
I like 'em sweet, I like 'em with a heart of gold.
Yeah an' I like 'em brassy, I like 'em brazen and bold.
Well, they say that opposites attract, well, I don't agree
I want a woman just as tacky as me.
Yeah, I like my women just a little on the trashy side.
Yeah, an' I like my women just a little on the trashy side,
When they wear their clothes too tight and their hair is dyed.
Too much lipstick an' er too much rouge,
Gets me excited, leaves me feeling confused.
An' I like my women just a little on the trashy side.
Yeah, I like my women an' I like 'em on the trashy side.
17. Boot Scootin' Boogie
by: Brooks & Dunn
Album: Brand New Man
Another song which became huge in the line dance craze but it meant so much more than that. The song launched Brooks & Dunn from just another country duo to the duo that would eventually beat the Judds out for duo of the Year awards and would dominate for the next 13 years and still dominate. The song is catchy, and is a great time when you are feeling the urge to dance. Plus it's probably mt favorite country duo or band (BTW Their new song "Believe" is simply amazing...tear-jerking, hopeful, and brings a smile to your face all in one 5 minute song.)
Out in the country past the city limits sign
Well there's a honky tonk near the county line
The joint starts jumpin everynight when the sun goes down
They got whiskey women music & smoke
It's where all the country folk go to boot scootin' boogie
I've got a good job I work hard for my money
When it's quittin time I hit the door runnin'
I fire up my pickup truck & let the horses run
I go flyin' down that highway to that hide-a-way
Stuck out in the woods to do the boot scootin' boogie
Yeah, heel, toe, docie doe come on baby let's go boot scootin
Cadilac black jack, baby meet me outback we're gonna boogie
Oh get down, turn around go to town boot scootin' boogie
The bartender asks me says son what'll it be
I want a shot at that redhead yonder lookin' at me
The dance floors hoppin' & it's hotter than the fourth of July
I see outlaws, inlaws crooks & straights all out makin' it shake
Doin' the boot scootin' boogie
Yeah, heel, toe, docie doe come on baby let's go boot scootin
Cadilac black jack, baby meet me outback we're gonna boogie
Oh get down, turn around go to town boot scootin' boogie
16. Small Town Saturday Night
by: Hal Ketchum
Album: Past the Point of Rescue
For weeks, months, and two years this was the song I always left work too when I spent every night of my weekend working instead of doign anything with my friends. I would drive through my hometown and expecting to see a bustling community I saw empty streets and little traffic. So I would kick on this song and just laugh my way home listening to it. Just a delightful slice of Americana
There's an Elvis movie on the marquee sign
We've all seen at least three times
Everybody's broke, Bobby's got a buck
Put a dollars worth of gas in his pickup truck
We're going' ninety miles an hour down a dead end road
What's the hurry, son... where you gonna go?
We're gonna howl at the moon, shoot out the light
It's a small town Saturday night
It's a small town Saturday night
Lucy's got her lipstick on a little too bright
Bobby's gettin' drunk and lookin' for a fight
Liquor on his breath and trouble on his mind
And Lucy's just a kid along for the ride
Got a six-pack of beer and a bottle of wine
Gotta be bad just to have a good time
They're gonna howl at the moon, shoot out the light
It's a small town Saturday night
It's a small town Saturday night
Bobby told Lucy, "The world ain't round...
Drops off sharp at the edge of town
Lucy, you know the world must be flat
'Cause when people leave town, they never come back"
They go ninety miles an hour to the city limits sign
Put the pedal to the metal 'fore they change their mind
They howl at the moon, shoot out the light
It's a small town Saturday night
They howl at the moon, shoot out the light
Yeah, it's a small town Saturday night
It's a small town Saturday night
It's a small town Saturday night
Monday, November 28, 2005
The Post with me asking nicely
From the offices of Brian Hansley Inc.:
RE: My day
I could really use a hug from someone--anyone. Please.
Sincerely,
Brian Hansley
The Post with a Storm Brewing
The place that I work at is run by inept, incompetent, and intolerable people. We're a trucking company that doesn't have any drivers on our payroll. We have two guys who drive but that is not their primary function there. The one guy who drives is our human resources manager/mechanic/saftey director/quality assurance/ driver any other stupid slash he wants to put on there to further bump up his title. The guy is a huge d-Bag and at some point on the horizon I can see him and I having a good-ole fashioned throwdown (which would be a bad thing for him).
Let's backtrack a little. Two months ago I was loading a truck that was to go to Leidy's Meats in Souderton (my primary job). Our trucks are licensed up to 44,000 pounds and this load was going to weigh in just north of 51,000. The guy walks up to me and insists the load go out as one load and not be split into two trucks. He then walked away. My acting boss at the time said, "I wouldn't do it." See my thinking is this--if he crashes and injures someone-they would sue all the way back the chain--including the guy who loaded the truck knowingly overweight. So I refused to do it. The guy came back down and again asked if it could all fit onto one load. I said It could but it'll be 7,000 pounds overweight and I'm not doing that. He brushed it off and said, "I don't think it makes that much of a difference." I said, "I wouldn't want my family driving in front of a truck 7,000 pounds over weight. He walked away and allowed me to split it into two truck loads. Battle one goes to Brian.
Today we were late getting the Leidy's pull from the company (a mess in it's own right). We got the pull at 11:55 (a good 3 hours after when we normally do). Once we got the pull we found out Leidy's had changed their sheets so the order was listed completely differently and was missing half the necessary information to properly do the order. I spent 35 minutes trying to get a straight answer from Leidy's as to what we should do. So at 12:45 the guy walks in and asks if it is two loads going down to Leidy's. I say it is.
(The following is our conversation starting with him)
"Is the first load ready yet?"
"Not yet."
(smirking) "Do you have any of it started yet?"
"Yeah, look around you on the dock here."
"Well what time are we looking at it being done?"
"Probably 1:30"
(looks at watch annoyed and then at clock on wall--which was stupid) "Well we're running behind today aren't we?"
"What do you want me to do? I got the pull 50 minutes ago and spent about 30 minutes trying to decipher what they were ordering."
"Well I don't know how long we can wait around for the pulls."
"Probably til they're done." (He leaves)
He then comes back into the building at 1:10---a full 20 minutes before I told him when to come back. I don't look up from what I'm doing.
"Are we finished yet?"
"Nope"
"What time are we looking at?"
"Still gonna be 1:30, longer if you keep interrupting me."
"I can't believe it is taking this long to pull a few cases." ---( FYI A few cases was 342 out of a 892 case order).
(I slowly lift my head up, stare right into his eyes with a dead cold stare on my face)
"You're pushing it."
(He looks at me not sure what to say.)
"You're really pushing it." (I go back to doing my work and I hear the door open and close to the outside.)
Battle 2 goes to me.
Here's the deal---The job was terrible today. A relatively easy job was made incredibly difficult because the company decided to use a different method for printing their orders, not to mention considering I was out of work for 4 days so I was extra freezing. I also didn't get to take lunch today which helps give me some levity to my day.
This might end up going 12 rounds before all is said and done.
Sunday, November 27, 2005
The Post with me showing everyone my dog
I took this picture with my camera phone so hopefully it looks ok. PLus I was just seeing if I could get things on the blog in picture form from my hard drive and it worked...Any-who this is my irish setter Buddy
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
The Post with me beginning a new blog countdown
I'm all for creating discussion and causing people to look at things they normally wouldn't look at or enjoy---hence my new list.....
My Favorite 25 country songs of all-time----now notice I didn't call this the best becasue these are just the ones I like the best. I'll list the song, talk a little bout it, and then give you the lyrics...Enjoy the countdown as we go 25-21 to start
25. Whiskey Lullaby
by: Brad Paisley & Allison Krauss
Album: Mud on the Tires
There is no shortage of country drinking songs-both of the happy kind and the sad kind. This is very much like any other song where a man loses his woman and loses himself in the bottle. Except the twist here is the woman--wracked with guilt--ends up killing herself with alcohol. It sounds like a classic country song with Paisley's vibrant voice outshined by the haunting soprano of Allison Krauss, who is probably the best voice in country music today. The closing notes are entirely haunting.
She put him out like the burnin' end of a midnight cigarette
She broke his heart he spent his whole life tryin' to forget
We watched him drink his pain away a little at a time
But he never could get drunk enough to get her off his mind
Until the night
He put that bottle to his head and pulled the trigger
And finally drank away her memory
Life is short but this time it was bigger
Than the strength he had to get up off his knees
We found him with his face down in the pillow
With a note that said I'll love her till I die
And when we buried him beneath the willow
The angels sang a whiskey lullaby
The rumors flew but nobody knew how much she blamed herself
For years and years she tried to hide the whiskey on her breath
She finally drank her pain away a little at a time
But she never could get drunk enough to get him off her mind
Until the night
She put that bottle to her head and pulled the trigger
And finally drank away his memory
Life is short but this time it was bigger
Than the strength she had to get up off her knees
We found her with her face down in the pillow
Clinging to his picture for dear life
We laid her next to him beneath the willow
While the angels sang a whiskey lullaby
24. Jackson
by: Johnny Cash & June Carter Cash
Album: Carrying On
A fine duet about a couple working their way through things sang by two amazing voices. There is a definite passion in the song which is unmatched in most any duet.
We got married in a fever, hotter than a pepper sprout,
We've been talkin' 'bout Jackson, ever since the fire went out.
I'm goin' to Jackson, I'm gonna mess around,
Yeah, I'm goin' to Jackson,
Look out Jackson town.
Well, go on down to Jackson; go ahead and wreck your health.
Go play your hand you big-talkin' man, make a big fool of yourself,
Yeah, go to Jackson; go comb your hair!
Honey, I'm gonna snowball Jackson.
See if I care.
When I breeze into that city, people gonna stoop and bow. (Hah!)
All them women gonna make me, teach 'em what they don't know how,
I'm goin' to Jackson, you turn-a loose-a my coat.
'Cos I'm goin' to Jackson.
"Goodbye," that's all she wrote.
But they'll laugh at you in Jackson, and I'll be dancin' on a Pony Keg.
They'll lead you 'round town like a scalded hound,
With your tail tucked between your legs,
Yeah, go to Jackson, you big-talkin' man.
And I'll be waitin' in Jackson, behind my Jaypan Fan,
Well now, we got married in a fever, hotter than a pepper Sprout,
We've been talkin' 'bout Jackson, ever since the fire went.
I'm goin' to Jackson, and that's a fact.
Yeah, we're goin' to Jackson, ain't never comin' back.
Well, we got married in a fever, hotter than a pepper sprout'
And we've been talkin' 'bout Jackson, ever since the fire went...
23. Some Girls Do
by: Sawyer Brown
Album: Dirt Road
Just a fun song to turn up and sing along with. Despite being turned down by the girls he lusts after he just laughs it off by continuing to be himself and knowing that eventually some girl will get him. Almost like a self-help song for someone like me
She turned up her nose as she walked by my cadillac
From the corner of my eye I saw you and you laughed
You were sittin' on the swing on your fron porch
Paintin' your nails like you were bored
And you yelled "She was sure impressed with you"
Chorus:
Well I ain't first class
But I ain't white trash
I'm wild and a little crazy too
Some girls don't like boys like me
Aww but some girls do
I yelled and asked if you would like a ride
When we pulled out of your yard I balled a tire
You was laughing at me, I was doing James Dean
You was the prettiest girl I'd ever seen
When you rolled your eyes and twirled my pink fur dice
Chorus
Well good ole' boys don't get no breaks
And rich boys think they got what it takes
But there's someone for each of us they say
Chorus x2
I said some girls do
You know some girls do
Like boys like me
You know some girls do
22. Songs About Rain
by: Gary Allan
Album: See if I Care
How many times have you been having a rough day and no matter where you flip the car dial to it seems like the radio is after you? This song is about that sensation. A man broken up over his ex-girlfriend getting married drives around town and hears all kinds of classic country songs on the radio about rain. It is sung by a man with a throwback voice and there is tons of pain and pathos in the lyrics.
Well this town has closed down way too early,
And there’s nothing to do,
So I’m driving around in circles,
And I’m thinking about you,
Today I heard you got a new last name,
Sure didn’t know it was gonna hit me this way,
And the radio just keeps on playing all these songs about rain
Now there’s all kind of songs about babies and love that goes right,
But for some unknown reason nobody wants to play them tonight,
Hey I hope it’s sunny wherever you are,
But that’s sure not the picture tonight in my car,
And it sure ain’t easing my pain all these songs like,
Rainy Night In Georgia,
and Kentucky Rain,
Here Comes That Rainy Day Feeling Again,
Blue Eyes Crying In The early morning Rain,
They go on and on,
And there’s no two the same,
Oh it would be easy to blame all these songs about rain,
Well I thought I was over you but I guess maybe I’m not,
Cause when I let you go looks like lonely is all that I got,
Guess I’ll never know what could have been,
Sure ain’t helping this mood that I’m in,
If their gonna keep on playing me songs like,
Rainy Night In Georgia,
and Kentucky Rain,
Here Comes That Rainy Day Feeling Again,
Blue Eyes Crying In The early morning Rain,
They go on and on,
And there’s no two the same,
Oh how I wish I could blame all these songs about rain,
All these songs about rain,
Songs about rain.......
21. Don't Take the Girl
by: Tim McGraw
Album: Not A Moment to Soon
McGraw sings a song which is very much in tune with what makes country music--country music. As a little boy he meets a girl that he doesn't like just because she is a girl. He warms up to her and they get close concluding with him willing to make the ultimate sacrifice to protect her. It is a sad song but there is hope buried in it as well.
Johnny's daddy was taking him fishin'
When he was eight years old
A little girl came through the front gate holdin' a fishing pole
His dad looked down and smiled, said we can't leave her behind
Son I know you don't want her to go but someday you'll change your mind
And Johnny said "Take Jimmy Johnson, take Tommy Thompson, take my best friend Bo
Take anybody that you want as long as she don't go
Take any boy in the world
Daddy please don't take the girl
Same old boy
Same sweet girl
Ten years down the road
He held her tight and kissed her lips
In front of the picture show
Stranger came and pulled a gun
Grabbed her by the arm said "If you do what I tell you to, there won't be any harm"
And Johnny said "Take my money, take my wallet, take my credit cards
Here's the watch that my grandpa gave me
Here's the key to my car
Mister give it a whirl
But please don't take the girl
Same old boy
Same sweet girl
Five years down the road
There's going to be a little one and she says it's time to go
Doctor says the baby's fine but you'll have to leave
'Cause his momma's fading fast and Johnny hit his knees and there he prayed
Take the very breath you gave me
Take the heart from my chest
I'll gladly take her place if you'll let me
Make this my last request
Take me out of this world
God, please don't take the girl
Johnny's daddy
Was taking him fishin'
When he was eight years old
The Post with Talking about LAF
So Sunday night my friend and I went to Easton, Pennsylvania for the Best of LAF comedy show starring Kevin Meaney, Jim Gaffigan, Wendy Liebman, and Robert Schimmel.
I was going to post pictures of the comedians to maybe help you place them but I'm too lazy to do that tonight so I'll try to describe them as best I can.
First off, I never realized how close Easton was to New Jersey--one exit. Also Easton (the little bit I saw was great looking. The State Theater is a beautiful place and a great intimate setting for a show.
Kevin Meaney (a long time comedian who had a bit role in Big) started off the show as the host of the evening. He was fine in all his times but never really laugh-out loud funny. I was expecting to be disappointed by him and was. In fact, some of his material seemed like the same act a comedian starting out would have "Anyone from here in Easton?" His funniest bit was him singing a Christmas song duet as Johnny Mathis and Ethyl Merman...It was gold.
He first brought out Jim Gaffigan who got a rousing round of applause. He has showed up in a bunch of movies and tv shows but you'd probably know him from Super Troopers where he was the driver who the cops played the "Meow" game with. He also has a few cd's out and has a stand-up special on Comedy Central along with appearing on all the late night shows. His set started with talking about how silly holiday traditions are and ended with the Bible. In the middle he talked about Hot Pockets, cake, and religion.
My favorite bits:
"We're so lazy anymore we have food delivered to us. (on phone)Hi I really like your food but not enough to get in my car and come pick it up. What's next getting someone to feed it to us? (on phone) Yeah I'm gonna need a plate of spaghetti delivered and someone to feed it to me. No I'm in the tub, key's under the mat just let yourself in."
"It's hard to make stuff up when you read in church. Paul's letter to the apostles, "Dear apostles. How's it going? It sure is hot here? Say hi to Jesus for me. Amen."
"Do you think Jesus was a good carpenter? Like maybe back then people were like---Good thing that Messiah thing worked out."
After Gaffigan out came Wendy Liebman who I was really looking forward to. SHe was most recently in the hilarious film The Aristocrats. I used to watch her stnad-up special religiously when I was 15 and 16 (Actually I wanted to go meet her at the VIP party afterwards and say There's like a 95% chance I pulled one off to you 10 years ago, but I'm not sure how that would've been received.) Anyways, I really like her comedy, mainly because of her delivery where she says the set-up, gives you the punchline, but then gives you the real punchline under her breath so it sounds real funny. Her set was pretty good but rapid fire and the crowd wasn't sure how to take her so the set didn't come off as well as it should have.
My favorite bits:
"I fell in love at first sight...of the doctor that delivered me. But then he spanked me, and I’m not into that kind of pain."
"I dated a doctor once and I couldn't break up with him, so I just ate an apple a day."
Last for the night was Robert Schimmel who completely owned the stage and the audience from the moment he walked on stage. Schimmel has had a storied career in comedy, including everythin from writing for In Living Color to hosting the AVN's and appearing on Howard Stern numerous times. Schimmel launched into a raunchy, riotous 35 minute set where everything was in play and nothing was sacred.
Siegfried and Roy, his battle with cancer, and his ex-wife were all ridiculed in the set that had people rolling in their seats and people aroudn me wiping tears from their eyes.
My Favorite bits:
"After seeing my wife give birth I realized how stupid you sound talking during sex. Taek it all baby. She could take me, a six pack, and a garment bag."
"Eight months pregnant and my wife wants to have sex. I said I don't want to poke around there my kid is in there. Don't worry honey you won't get near him. Oh thanks for the pep talk sweetie. I mean my kids fast asleep and all of a sudden some dick comes bouncing around in there looking for space. I don't want to be laying in bed in my house and some dick starts floating around punching me in the face."
"I go down on my wife but she wouldn't give me head. She said--you pee out of there. What do you think comes out of you birthday cake? How about if I pissed out my ear, would you suck my dick then? Cause I'll go get the surgery right now."
So much more I can't remember.
So all in all I had a rather enjoyable time and a night of laughter I so badly needed. Hopefully the State has some mroe great shows coming up that I can attend since I enjoyed it so much.
The Post with me reverting back to my old MUTV days
Back when I had my own show at Millersville University we did a thing in the second season where we had the talented Matthias Sundberg on his "soapbox" and he helped us discuss stories. I sent him the first of what will probably many articles that are reminisciant of what we talked about on the show.
A teenager has been charged with indecent exposure after he was caught trying to have sex with a female mannequin on display at an arts centre.
Security guards found Michael Plentyhorse, 18, sprawled with the dummy on the floor with his trousers and pants down.
Police spokesman Loren McManus said: "There was inappropriate activity between him and the mannequin.
"That's the only way I know how to put it."
Guards said they had noticed several times before that the dummy's clothes had been removed at the centre in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, US
If convicted, Plentyhorse may be registered as a sex offender.
Hope Matchan, of the prosecutors' department, said: "People might say it's relatively harmless, but I certainly would want to know if this person was my neighbour."
Matthias posted his thoughts in his blog (link can be found up near the top of the page) and here are mine.
What troubles me is this statement--"Guards said they had noticed several times before that the dummy's clothes had been removed at the centre in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, US"----HOLD ON, Does that mean they think this kid has been coming back and gradually undressing this mannequin in hopes of scoring the big prize or is there some new game going on in high schools where it's cool to undress and fondle mannequins?
What kind of person does it take to undress in public and then fuck and spoon with a mannequin? I don't even like getting undressed in private, in the dark. This kid drops trow in the middle of a department store.
And then they want to register him as a sex offender. That'll be a good one to explain ten years from now.
"Hi I'm Michael Plentyhorse. I just moved in next door. I need to let you know I'm a sex offender cause I fucked a mannequin who was wearing a snappy cardigan and carrying a Prada purse ten years ago."
"That's disgusting."
"Hey she wanted it"
Ah yes--Youth of today
Monday, November 21, 2005
The Post with me catching up on Get Fuzzy
So I've gotten a little behind but now I'll catch up with the last couple days worth.
(BTW Harry the link is http://www.comics.com/comics/getfuzzy)
THURSDAY
FRIDAY
SATURDAY
SUNDAY
MONDAY
Now we are all caught up
The Post with me discussing Walk the Line
Invariably, Walk the Line will be compared to last year's movie Ray which netted Jamie Foxx an Oscar for Best Actor. At face value that is a fair comparison. Both stories revolve around a singer who rose above the death of a sibling in childhood and less than loving support from a father. It is there that the similarities end. Whereas Ray was all about the music of Ray Charles, Walk the Line is a love story based around the music of Johnny Cash, and even that is not describing the movie properly.
Johnny Cash, while in the armed forces, started writing songs and when he came back home moved his family to Memphis, Tennessee to follow that dream. Eventually he finds himself face to face with Sam Phillips who ran Sun Records (pretty much the premiere label in that time) and sings him a standard gospel song of the time. Phillips looks at Cash and says he feels nothing from the performance. He tells Cash if you were in an accident and dying what song would express how you felt about life. At this moment Cash launches into a song he wrote in the military entitled "Folsom Prison Blues" At first the song is middling but as it gains steam we see the true Cash we all know emerge.
Even with a record deal Cash could get no support or love from his wife Vivian so he began looking other places to turn his affections. He was on tour with June Carter a member of the famous Carter family, and a girl Johnny loved from the time he was a kid. It is here where the movie begins to come into focus. This is the story of an imperfect man who loves this girl with all his heart, but she won't date him until he sorts out his problems and gets past them. It is touching and makes the movie almost a romantic film designed to bring in guys.
The fact that the movie is about a guy who sang some of the most classic country songs of all time adds to the emotion the movie brings on. During one drunken gathering before a show, June walks in and screams at the guys about blowing a tour. She blows her top at Johnny especially and closes by saying, "You can't walk no line." It was just a while later Johnny wrote "I Walk the Line," and the moment he sings it on-stage defiantly and directly at June you feel a passion.
There are plenty of things to like about this film. First off, the music is amazing and Joaquin Phoenix pulls off Cash's singing voice and performance mannerisms perfectly. He doesn't really sound like Cash when he talks but it's close enough. His singing is top notch too and I still can't believe it was actually him. The depth of songs they do too is nice including hits standards like, "I Walk the Line" "Folsom Prison Blues" and "Ring of Fire" but also including some of his lesser known stuff as a solo act and with June--"Cocaine Blues" "I Got Stripes" "Jackson"
There are some powerful scenes in the film and they do a good job of staying true to the story only adding minor things here and there (The ending is strictly Hollywood-ized but it fits better with the movie.)
All the other actors who portrayed musicians performed admirably and did their best--I thought Waylon Payne as Jerry Lee Lewis was top notch.
Finally this movie is completly stolen by Reese Witherspoon. She not only finds a way to keep her normal movie persona (upbeat, perky) but layers it with this woman that has a passion to change the man in black. Reese attaches Carter's personality to her own and with her natural Southern accent she sounds perfect. Not to mention she is phenomenal singing in the film as well. If this movie gets any Oscar nods--she has got the Best Actress nod for sure.
The onyl thing I didn't like was I thought they could've extended the story out a little more to include some things after the end (like a coda) including the famous Johnny Cash in Nickajack Cave story which still gets me.
There are some winks to country fans as they make sure to mention Cash and Carter's daughters by name at times Carlene Carter (a woman who had some modest country success with "Every Little Thing") and Roseanne Cash (who had a decent career marked by her cover of her dad's song "Tennessee Flat-Top Box" and "Seven Year Ache"). And Shooter Jennings does a good job playing his dad Waylon but isn't really given anything to do.
All in all this movie is an absolute must see for anyone who loves country music, or is intrigued by the mystique of Johnny Cash. It also proves something true that Cash was so good at recognizing. Pain, and hurt filled music knows no genre. It is just the way it is
Thursday, November 17, 2005
The Post with a minor announcement
People do not forget
WALK THE LINE....opens TOMORROW NIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Damn skippy I'll be there
The Post with me Getting Fuzzy again
So apparently Harry and Holly are the only ones who want to Get Fuzzy with me! Join the train peeps.....
I was going to post today's but the site is down right now so I'll put up a classic one...then today's and tomorrow's--well tomorrow. Enjoy this classic strip.
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
The Post with me trying to get fuzzy AGAIN
No one! No one has anything to say about Get Fuzzy--For shame! So let's try it again
The Post with me actually talking nice about work
I always talk bad about work but every once and a while there are some cool things that happen there. For example, today is a good example of one.
When trucks back into our doors we have a button that extends a plate into the truck so it covers the gap between the concrete and the truck bed. The only problem with this is that there is a seam that isn't totally sealed along the top. So on a day like today--when it rains--rain seeps in through the seam and drips all over the floor.
Now that may seem like fun going through a waterfall that is the equivalent of me taking a piss but it is becasue of one simple fact. See I work in a freezer. Now remember back to an old episode of Mr. Wizard's World and tell me what happens when water meets freezing temperatures......I'll give some of you a few more minutes.
Time's up. It freezes!!! Shock of all shocks I know. This newly formed ice makes a slippery track when going in and out of trucks most times meaning the wheels spin and whip you sideways. The one new guy got a motor turned sideways today and then we sat there going, "Oh man, How are we going to get that out?" The guy got all worried. Then we told him how we remove them. He was relieved, and I was amused.
In fact, I've been amused most of the week. So there
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
The Post with some Relief and some mad props
The verdict on the injury is just a further aggravation of a severe grade groin sprain and (basically a sports hernia)---so whew dodged a bullet there....My groin must be made of rubber bands with as muhc as its been through since I originally injured it
I'd like to take this time to give some props to somebody. I met this guy in college in a round-about way and then met up with him again becasue we were both in Philadlephia a lot for pro wrestling shows (Ring of Honor-check it out)....Frank has becoem one of my best friends and a go-to-guy for me when it comes to needing someone to talk to. He's talked me off the ledge a few times and since he incessantly text messages me on the phone at various points he hits me at a shitty time and makes me laugh.
Frank I don't think I'd be able to beat some of the shit without a good person to turn to.
In return---I will lead the dodgeball team to victory in December--I've entered training already and am looking to have enough endurance to outlast all the fucking teams man....That day I'm the Franchise player
The Post with me bringing a great singer to your attention
Some people complain that true country singers aren't out there anymore. I say, wade through the easy-listening country and you'll find some good ones. One of my favorites is Gary Allan and I just bought his new album last week. Man is it something else.
His wife committed suicide at the beginning of the year and it has weighed heavily on his mind since then. I saw him in April and you could hear the emotion in his voice as he sang some of his songs. His new album is called Tough All Over and includes some songs he wrote (a rarity for him), a lot of deeply painful songs, and a cover of Vertical Herizon's "Best I Ever Had." My favorite song is "Life Ain't Beautiful"
Here's a snippet:
Life ain't always beautiful
Sometimes it's just plain hard
Life can knock you down, it can break your heart
Life ain't always beautiful
You think you're on your way
And it's just a dead end road at the end of the day
But the struggle makes you stronger
And the changes make you wise
And happiness has it's own way of takin' it sweet time
[chorus]
No,life aint always beautiful
Tears will fall sometimes
Life aint always beautiful
But it's a beautiful ride
Monday, November 14, 2005
The Post with me Getting Fuzzy
When work has me down I still find hope from this comic strip in the paper.....
Get Fuzzy
Sunday, November 13, 2005
The post with me trying to mend some fences
There's no way to make this sound any better than what it is so here goes.
This past weekend I ventured out to Millersville to visit with Craig, Karen, and Greg. They were having a party last night and that's where things went wrong for me.
The night began innocently enough with a few drinks some quiet small talk and a geninuely good time. I was even challenged to a word fight with JJ which was going well until I said a word wrong and blew it. (And I really do wish that was my low point of the night.)
As the night wore on I gradually drank more and more. It is somewhere in this time period that I crossed the mark of how much I can drink before things go wrong.
Here's what has been told to me. I apparently spilled a beer on Craig's dresser- That is what we like to call Mistake #1.
Then I was telling people I was going to kick their ass. I thought it was only towards the one kid who was trying to leave when he was obviously too drunk to leave.(Side note: He slept on the recliner in the living room and when I passed him in the morning he awoke briefly and said, thanks for making me stay) Craig says I did a few other times too--But in any regard we'll call this Mistake #2.
I'll leave out the rest and just get to the only part of this that matters.
To Craig, Karen, and Greg I would like to offer my deepest apologies for anything I did to offend their guests and in acting like a general asshole apparently for a majority of the night. The three of them allow me to stay with them and have always treated me with class and respect and I wasn't able to return the favor. Like I said to Craig if the consequences mean I am not able to attend parties in the future so be it. If it means I'm not welcome back to the apartment I'll live with that because it was my own doing.
To anyone else who was there that might casually read this entry or be told about it's content I would like to say I'm sorry if I did or said anything that upset or offended you. That is including but not limited to.....JJ, Dave, Vance, Harry, Vicki, Andrew, and Roger.
Hopefully I haven't ruined any friendships or what not that I've forged over the years.
As I said in Craig's blog--I feel embarassed for myself
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
The Post with me discussing an exciting upcoming week
I couldn't hold in my excitement about a week I have upcoming so I need to get it out there. See no matter how bad things get I knwo there are always things to look forward to and the week surrounding Thanksgiving provides some much needed relief in this crazed, shitty world of mine.
Sunday Nov. 20th---My best friend (Well I have two best friends so its probably better to term them 1A and 1B) and I have tickets to the Best of the Laughter and Arts Festvial Comedy Show in Easton, PA. The show consists of 4 comedians telling some of their best material. The comedians are Kevin Meaney, Wendy Liebman, Jim Gaffigan, and Robert Schimmel. I can't wait for that as it should be hilarious.
Monday Nov. 21st and Tuesday Nov. 22nd--Shitty work so we'll skip that.
Wednesday Nov. 23rd--- Aerosmith/Lenny Kravitz concert at the Wachovia Center....I love Aerosmith and even though it's not cool I enjoy Kravitz a lot so I can't wait for this concert.
Thursday Nov. 24th---Thanksgiving. The greatest holiday on the calendar.
Friday Nov. 25th--- Black Friday which means I'll be up early and at Best Buy buying myself Sirius Satellite Radio and possibly Tivo depending on the money situation. Then its movie night (with another friend again) with a possible movie hop going down.
Saturday Nov. 26th--- Drinking and partying with my hockey team at the Sly Fox in Royersford. We didn't win anything--we just gonna get wild.
Sunday Nov. 27th---- Relaxing after the week full of little to no sleep
Thanks for reading...Share your great week that week or whatever in the comment section
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
The Post with some Horror Movie Thoughts and an Idea
The horror movie marathon went swimmingly this past weekend as I stayed the course on my agenda except for a very important diversion. See Thursday night I had on AMC's Monsterfest and they were showing Hellraiser 2. So I figured, you know what, I really like Friday the 13th but I haven't seen Hellraiser in like forever. So I went to the local Movie Gallery (Fuck Blockbuster) and rented Hellraiser and its sequel and watch those during the day. God I love those films- why did they have to bastardize them with crappy sequels?
So I then go to see The Devil's Rejects and again enjoyed the hell out of the film. (Almost won a soundtrack too in the drawing) I come home and flip through the channels--it's like 2:00 am. I pass PBS and see a lady walking out of what looks like a big top. I think to myself (I know this film). Then I realize it's Carnival of Souls. The movie ends and some guy comes on talking about the film and says "The film you just saw greatly influenced the film you're about to see- Night of the Living Dead." Ok wait-PBS is going to show Night of the Living Dead? I didn't beleive it, but then sure enough there it was. So I ended up staying up until 4:00 watching that movie. And that gave me an idea. Next years horror festival requires watching all the Romero zombie films. Night, Dawn, Day, and Land of the Dead. That's a golden idea.
That brought up some questions in my mind though, so basically I'm asking my readers (mainly Craig and JJ since I'm sure one of them knows the answer.) I know they've made countless copies of the film to make money off it (Any piece of work shows before 1989 without a copyright notice was considered public domain-hence Night of the Living Dead on PBS, AND Romero not making a boat load of money off it.) but how different are the versions and how many are there. I know they sell Night of the Living Dead in color which I assume is just the regular version in color. I know Savini re-made the film in the 90's and I think that is different. I've heard there is also a laugh track version which I think is the original with a laughtrack? Any help guys.
And with that--I'm out
