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Tuesday, August 30, 2005
The Post with me Listing the top 20 Teen Comedies of the past 25 years (#15-11)
15. Valley Girl--Julie Richman is a sweet-natured, if shallow, Valley Girl. After breaking up with her jerk boyfriend Tommy, she is at her friend Suzi's party ("the social event of the season") when two boys from Hollywood crash the scene. One of them, the sensitive and adventurous Randy, is immediately smitten with Julie, and she with him. Julie's friends, however, are not smitten with Randy purely because he is from "Holly-weird" and want Julie to dump Randy and get back together with Tommy. Julie must decide which is more important: her heart and the boy she loves, or the approval of her friends. A side story involves Suzi and her stepmom vying for the attention of Skip the grocery delivery boy.---A movie that mainstreamed a whole annoying dialogue whihc really should be accounted for something.
Quote: Randy: Where do you work?
Julie Richman: At my parents' store.
Randy: What do they sell?
Julie Richman: Health foods.
Randy: That's cool.
Julie Richman: Like, it's not cool at all! Like, it's all this stuff that tastes like nothing and it's supposed to be so good for you. Why couldn't they, like, open a Pizza Hut or something?
14. Teen Wolf---Scott is a young boy on a struggling basketball team. He is desperately seeking another girl who just doesn't seem to notice him, until he begins turning into a wolf. Once this change occurs and it is accepted at school and social events, Scott turns into the most liked and talked about person in town. He gets the girl and the basketball team is doing great, but he begins to want things to be back to normal.-- I love this movie but probably for all the wrong reasons. Frist off, Michael J. Fox is one of my favorite actors but that's not bad. The movie is so cheesy and Fox dressed like a wolf playing basketball is gold.
Quote: Coach Finstock: Look Scotty, I know what you're going through. Couple years back, a kid came to me much the same way you're coming to me now, saying the same thing that you're saying. He wanted to drop off the team. His mother was a widow, all crippled up. She was scrubbing floors. She had this pin in her hip. So he wanted to drop basketball and get a job. Now these were poor people with real problems. Understand what I'm saying?
Scott Howard: "What happened to the kid?
Coach Finstock: "I don't know. He quit. He was a third stringer, I didn't need him.
13. Sixteen Candles---Samantha's life is going downhill fast. The fifteen-year-old has a crush on the most popular boy in school, and the geekiest boy in school has a crush on her. Her sister's getting married, and with all the excitement the rest of her family forgets her birthday! Add all this to a pair of horrendously embarrassing grandparents, a foreign exchange student named Long Duc Dong, and we have the makings of a hilarious journey into young womanhood.
Quote: Jim Baker: Why do you think you're a dork? I don't think you're a dork. I don't think Mom thinks you're a dork.
Samantha: Mike thinks I'm a dork.
Jim Baker: Mike is a dork
12. Mean Girls--- Born in Africa, Cady Heron (Lohan) thinks she knows the survival of the fittest especially when she joins the Plastics, the alpha girl group at her new high school led by Regina (McAdams). When Cady finds out about Regina's plans to just walk all over her, she decides to turn the entire school against Regina and throw her off the mighty throne. Cady soon discovers that she herself has become a mean girl.---Ok yes, there are plenty of hot women in this movie and that helps me liking it. But beyond all that there is a hear to this film and it is outright hilarious at times. Plus now it's good to see how hot Lindsay Lohan used to be...I always had a thing for Rachael McAdams too...A strong cast and a strong script.
Quote: Mr. Duvall: Never in my 14 years as an educator have I seen such behavior. And from young ladies. I've got parents calling me on the phone and asking, ?Did someone get shot?. I oughta cancel your Spring Fling.
[all girls shout, no, and whisper among themselves]
Mr. Duvall: Now, I'm not gonna do that because we've already paid the DJ, but don't think I'm not taking this book seriously. Coach Carr has fled school property. Ms. Norbury has been accused of selling drugs. Now what the young ladies in this grade need is an attitude makeover. And you're going to get it, right now. I don't care how long it takes. I will keep you here all night.
Joan the Secretary: We can't keep them past four.
Mr. Duvall: I will keep you here until four.
11. Can't Hardly Wait-- High school graduates hold different agendas for themselves on graduation night. Love struck Preston wants to confess his feelings to class beauty/cheerleader/prom queen Amanda who has just been dumped by dumb jock Mike who is the target of vengeful nerd William. Meanwhile, Kenny, a wannabe rapper is determined to lose his virginity only to have his plans temporarily sidetracked by Denise, Preston's antisocial, high school hating friend who must resolve her differences with Kenny who was an old elementary school friend.--This is a cast of people who went on to be incredibly famous for so many reasons....Seth Green, Lauren Ambrose, Peter Facinelli, Erik Palladino, etc...As I mentioned once before the film feels like real characters becasue they are written so well. And the whole time you'll find yourself saying--I knew a guy like that in high school.
Quote: Denise: Besides, I heard that song was about his dog.
Preston: It's not about a dog. It's about a woman named Amanda. Who the hell names their dog Amanda?
Denise: My cousin had a dog name Samantha.
Preston: Shut up about the dog, OK?
Part 3 coming soon
Thursday, August 25, 2005
The Post with me Listing the top 20 Teen Comedies of the past 25 years # 20-16)
The list has been promised for weeks and here it finally is....I've lorded over the movies collecting all the ones I could think of. I watched all the ones I own, and here is the list. Now for sake of argument I've used only movies that take place while the kids are in high school because that is essentially a teen movie to me so sadly that eliminates Animal House. As always this list is just my opinion--feel free to disagree. (includes a synposis and my favorite quote from the film). Since this post would end up being massive I've broken it into 4 parts so read at your leisure
20. Pretty in Pink Young Andie is one of the not-so-popular girls in high school. She usually hangs out with her friends Iona or Duckie. Duckie has always had a crush on her, but now she has met a new guy from school, Blane. He's one of the rich and popular guys but can the two worlds meet?-----Molly Ringwald is really good in this film although she was great in others. Jon Cryer is good but I can't help but dock this film because the ending ruins it for me...
Quote: Duckie: We don't have none of this stuff in the boy's room! Wait a minute! We don't got none of this... we don't got doors on the stalls in the boy's room, we don't have, what is this? What's this? We don't have a candy machine in the boy's room!
19. Never Been Kissed A copy editor in her early 20s gets her chance to become a reporter at a Chicago daily. She's sent to do a feature on what cool high schoolers are doing. To really find out, she goes undercover as a student. Back at school, she gets to repair her own scarred teen psyche, as she was a total geek in her first go-around----- Yes I love Drew Barrymore which helps this film's standing but also good performances from David Arquette an Molly Shannon.
Quote: Anita Olesky: Sex can be fun... when you're old enough, which none of you are. I should know. When you lose it to some guy named Junior with bad breath in the back of a van at a Guns N' Roses concert, your gonna wish you had listened to your mother when she said, "There not gonna want to buy the whole friggin' ice cream truck when your handing out the popsicles for free!"
[giggles and sighs]
Anita Olesky: ... So, any questions?
[every hand goes up]
18. Drive Me Crazy Nicole is popular and stylish and has her sites set on one thing, the gala centennial celebration theme for the prom. She has always been into doing good for the planet. Her second sites are on a date to escort her. But when her dream date invites another girl, Nicole must act fast to find a substitute. She decides to go low and asks her grungy next door neighbor to take her there. But, first he needs a little work done to himself. She gives him a fashion make over to show his true handsome self.-----The script and everything is weak but the leads Melissa Joan Hart and Adrian Grenier are perfect for the roles and carry the movie the whole way.
Quote: Dave: Why are we doing this?
Chase: As a protest.
Dave: Of what?
Ray: People, right?
Chase: Sheep.
Ray: Check, Dave. We're doing this to protest sheep.
Dave: And what specifically about sheep do we object to?
Ray: Chase?
Chase: General herding mentality.
17. Clueless Cher Horowitz and her friend Dionne, two of the most popular sophomores in school, play matchmakers for two teachers. Inspired by their success, Cher takes under her wing Tai, a "clueless" transfer student. While trying to make an advantageous match for Tai, Cher attempts to find a boyfriend of her own. Several misfires take place, due to poor communication, before she finds the Baldwin of her dreams.I know I shouldn't like this movie, it's not made for me but I love it. Pretty much the whole cast gives great performances in what they had to know where cheesy roles.
Quote: Cher: So like, right now for example. The Haitians need to come to America. But some people are all, "What about the strain on our resources?" Well it's like when I had this garden party for my father's birthday, right? I put R.S.V.P. 'cause it was a sit-down dinner. But some people came that like did not R.S.V.P. I was like totally buggin'. I had to haul ass to the kitchen, redistribute the food, and squish in extra place settings. But by the end of the day it was, like, the more the merrier. And so if the government could just get to the kitchen, rearrange some things, we could certainly party with the Haitians. And in conclusion may I please remind you it does not say R.S.V.P. on the Statue of Liberty. Thank you very much.
16. Heathers Three high school girls named Heather run an iron clad social clique at high school. One of their anointees, Veronica, isn't sure she wants to fit into the clique, particularly when she has to snub some of her old friends at the Heathers' behest. When Veronica meets the new guy at school, she starts pulling away from the clique, while some of the more popular students start showing up dead with suicide notes.----- The very definition of a dark comedy and it has Ms. Ryder (babe) and Mr. Slater (cool guy) which helps it....It has some distinct weaknesses though that knock it down a few pegs for me
Quote: J.D.: Wanna go out tonight? Catch a movie? Miniature golf?
Veronica Sawyer: I was thinking more along the lines of slitting Heather Duke's wrists open, making it look like suicide.
J.D.: Ah, now you're talking. I can be up for that. I've already started underlining meaningful passages in her copy of Moby Dick, if you know what I mean?
Part 2 coming soon
Friday, August 19, 2005
The Post with me reviewing Red Eye
Wes Craven is one of the mroe underrated dorectors of our time. He spent many years directing boogeymen filled horror films like "A Nightmare on Elm Street," "The Hills Have Eyes," and "Scream"--a franchise with which he revitalized a dead genre in the mid 90's. What makes me underappreciated is that people see those films and think that the terror comes strictly from the villains, when in reality part of the terror comes in how Craven directs his action. He returns to the genre (sort of) with the white knuckle thriller "Red Eye"
Lisa Reisert (Rachel McAdams--"Mean Girls" "Wedding Crashers") is a harried manager of an upscale hotel in Miami, Florida. She is headed home to Miami after attending her grandmother's funeral in Dallas, Texas. We find over the opening credits that Lisa is able to lend a calm, cooling hand to any situation as she talks a fellow worker through a situation with some pushy guests. While waiting in line for her delayed flight she meets a man named Jackson Rippner (Cillian Murphy--"28 Days Later" "Batman Begins"). Jackson and Lisa take turns helping a ticket-taker fend off a rude passenger and bond over the experience. They later meet for drinks and after boarding the plane find they are by chance sitting next to each other.
After takeoff- an experience Lisa is none to fond of--Jackson begins revealing some more of his personality until his sinister side takes over letting Lisa in on the real reason he is on the plane. The Deputy Secretary of Homeland Security is staying at Lisa's hotel in Miami and her job is to call the hotel and put the Director in a room better suited to Jackson and his associates plan. Jackson says if Lisa doesn't help her father will be killed. At this point we are treated a tense cat and mouse game aboard the cramped 767. Jackson seems like a smooth criminal but there are some flaws in his plan which Lisa picks up on.
The plane lands and it is at this point where most movies in this vein fall apart. Movies like "Cellular," "Panice Room," and "Phone Booth" all found ways to mess up their interesting premise but in "Red Eye" Craven lets the action do the talking as dialogue goes almost non-exsistent. We don't get the big monologues from the killer or cheeky one-liners, because truthfully in a situation like this where every action means life or death--who has time to spout catchphrases. The movie reaches a satisfying conclusion, maybe a little too quickly but it gives nice closure to the story.
McAdams and Murphy are phenomenal in their roles. The whole second act of the movie on the plane relies heavily on their facial expressions and dialogue which in the hands of lesser actors would've been cheesy. In fact McAdams and Murphy have a lot in common in real life as this summer has seen both rise closer to the A-List.
Craven again does a fantastic job in creating suspense, and even finds ways to get some very creative constant motion shots aboard the airplane. He knows how to frame the action properly so that everything looks like it would in that situation. The heroine isn't overly perfect in her actions and the villian as he sees his plan unraveling becomes more scatterbrained. Also there are three very different tones in the film. The first act plays like a romantic comedy--then the plane takes off and we get the suspense--then the plane lands and we get some chasing...Both changes are signafied by the very loud and grating sounds of the plane either landing or taking off.
This movie is white knuckle suspense at its best and I'm not ashamed to admit I was on the edge of my seat at times. The impact of the story is more powerful in that we geninuely like both characters after the first act. There are a few laughs but they aren't necessarily meant to be that way.
Wes Craven took on plane security in the post 9/11 America and in doing so created a Hitchcockian suspense film much in the same vein as "Rope." Give this man the credit he deserves.
(Before I grade---big props to my boy Colby Donaldson from Survivor for doing great as a security guard)
A-
Bonus as I review the trailers:
SAW 2
The first one was great and the teaser for the second one makes it look very much in the same vein. Although the casting of Donnie Wahlberg scares me some.
Get Rich or Die Trying
The true story of 50 Cent's rise to fame. YAWN!!!!
Tim Burton's Corpse Bride
If this movie is even half as good as his other stop motion/ claymation film The Nightmare Before Chrsitmas we are in for a treat.
Doom
Based on the very popular game that I know nothing about. It looks good in a cheesy camp sort of way. Might be worth a shot.
The Fog
This movie looks awwesome, and brings about a point I've been harping at for years. If you're going to remake films either remake bad ones or ones that need some more explaining. The Fog by John Carpenter is a decent film but full of plot holes and leaves too many questions. The remake hopefully fills in some blanks.
The last preview I'm blanking on the name but it stars Reese Witherspoon as a woman who dies and doesn't realize it so she stays oin purgatory and meets up with the man who rents her apartment. A love story featuring a ghost and Napolean Dynamite...actually looks good.
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
The Post with me reviewing The Muppet Show Season 1 on DVD
Part of me (ok most of me) is still a kid at heart. I refuse to ever let that part of me die because I feel once you let it go, it never comes back. I want to be able to watch Disney movies and kids shows with my kids having the same wide-eyed wonderment as them without faking it. So the kid in me lives on.
Being that is the case I was astounded when looking through upcoming dvd releases and saw The Muppet Show was to be released. I didn't believe it, and then I forgot about it. That was until I saw the disc sitting on the Wal-Mart shelf this past weekend so of course I decided to spend the money on it and man was I loving what was inside that disc.
Now I could say this review is the most sensational, inspirational, celebrational, Muppetational review ever but that would be a lie and too obivous but I'll do my best.
For those that don't know--and shame on you if you don't. The Muppet Show was like a 30 minute episode of SNL. Kermit would introudce the show by appearing in the big "O" of Show and anounce the night's special guest which would then follow by the theme music played by the Muppet band. Kermit would then introduce the show from the stage and we would be treated to a 30 minute spectacle of punny comedy, Muppets singing, backstage antics, and finally the host performing a final number before they would sign off. And of course the whole preceding was mocked by Statler and Waldorf from the balcony.
Now many of the special guests from season 1 were not big name stars but since the show didn't have much cred yet they did what they could. Some of the bigger names that hosted were Rita Moreno, Jim Nabors, Sandy Duncan, Candice Bergan, and Vincent Price. (I should mention that this female named Twiggy hosted--and my god she was gorgeous. I think she was from England or something and I need to look up some things about her. Simple math tells me she was 27 when she did the show--she would've been a pin-up if she would've been from the states). The most popular episode is Vincent Price since its the one that best comes close to being what the Muppet Show became. They started gearing the shows towards a theme surrounding the host.
There are some missteps and parts that fall flat (mainly because the jokes are a little dated) but there are instances right from the start about how culturally significant the Muppets would become. The very first skit is "Mahna Mahna" (Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo) which still resides as a classic. Also there are some sketches that became mainstays of the show like, "Veternairy Hospital" with Rowlf as the doctor assisted by Miss Piggy and Janice. Also there is plenty of "At the Dance" sketches---which the Muppets used much like Rowan and Martin used there little popping out and telling jokes device.
Besides the 23 episodes there is the original pilot of the show which is hosted by Nigel instead of Kermit. The pilot is legendary in Muppet lore and is entitled, "Sex and Violence". They also have a blooper reel which isn't terribly funny. There is the pitch Jim Henson used to sway CBS towards producing the show. It is a classic and laugh out loud funny. A Muppet broadcaster sits in front of a screen talking about the show and becomes gradually more animated. When discussing how the show will appeal to everyone he says, "Dirty, long-haired cynical hippies will love our dirty, long-haired cynical Muppets" By the end he is screaming and saying CBS needs to put the show on to save humanity.
My favorite feature though is Muppeet Morsels which is a running fact track at the bottom of the screen during the episodes which gives you all kinds of knowledge. Stuff like, People were onyl invited to host the show once, and they were asked who their favorite character was and then the writers would write skits designed for them to work with that Muppet specifically. The most requested choice was Miss Piggy and the second most was Animal. I would personally want to work with Fozzie or Statler and Waldorf. (poll at the end of post)
Speaking of them the disc menus are animated with commentary by Statler & Waldorf.
"Hurry up and choose."
"Yeah at our age we could go at anytime."
"We could even go before the show starts."
"That's a good idea-Let's get out of here."
So anyway I highly recommend buying this set and enjoy the wonder that is the Muppets. Even at your current age--you'll love it. But before you run out to buy it---vote in my latest poll
The Post with me updating my summer movie slate (finally)
1. Crash-- This is the movie of the year. By far, it's not even close. Seven or so interlocking stories of racism connect together to reveal some hidden truths and character faults about people and their beliefs about racism. All groups of people are discriminated against from Persians to Asians to Black People to even White People. Find it right now before it goes out of theaters and watch it. Well worth it.
2. Batman Begins-- For those waiting for a return to glory of the Batman franchise this provided it. Christian Bale was perfect casting as Batman and proved a theory I had long ago. Batman should be someone who looks like a smooth character but a guy who could probably beat your ass if needed. They do a great job of resetting the story of Batman and the villians are actually evil in this one. I eagerly await the next installment of the new era of this series.
3. Wedding Crashers-- By far and away the funniest movie of the summer and probably the year. Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn are absolutely hysterical together, and I would pay to see any comedy they are in from this point on. Christopher Walken is gold, after her one scene you'll never watch Dr. Quinn the same again, Rachel McAdams is radiant as she continues to move towards the A-List, and Isla Fisher completely steals the film as the other sister. The movie runs a little long but is so funny the rest of the time that you forgive it--and watch for that cameo.
4. Cinderella Man-- Just a really good movie but slightly below Crash in the Oscar race for me. Being a big boxing fan I was disappointed with how they protrayed Max Baer in the film, but in their defense it helped make Braddock's story much more dramatic. Russell Crowe is amazing proving what Chris Rock said at the Oscar's to be true--there are few great actors in Hollywood--Crowe is one of them.
5. The Longest Yard-- Surprisingly a really good movie. Maybe because I wasn't expecting much but it was really good and well done. There were some bizarre scenes but for the most part there were some good performances from Chris Rock, and wrestler Kevin Nash and Pride star Bob Sapp. Burt Reynolds was good in his role and there were some definite laugh out loud parts.
6. The Devil's Rejects-- Rob Zombie closes the book on his movie characters in a great road trip splatterfest. It isn't scary in the same way as the first one as this travles more into the minds of the killers and let's us stay in there for a while. It is funny at times and unsettling in others. And it contains the best use of "Freebird" ever in film.
7. The Dukes of Hazzard-- I loved this show as a kid and enjoyed the hell out of this movie updating of it. Some people complained about it but let's be honest--you take a goofy tv show and make a movie of it you're getting a goofy movie. Scott and Knoxville are great as the Duke boys and David Koechner is great as Cooter. Jessica Simpson is there, as is Willie Nelson, and Burt Reynolds. I don't get changing Roscoe from a giggling mess into a hard-ass but that's the way they chose to go. There is a nice reference by the director to his previous movie (Super Troopers) and it's obvious he was a fan of the show. I will say though the movie should come with a warning--Do not watch this movie and then drive a car----I did and it led to speeding and passing people like crazy.
8. Fantastic Four-- The first comic book movie that wasn't made specifically for fans of the comic book. The story is pure summer popcorn fare and damned if it isn't a fun time. The characters are completely over the top and the only one who is played close to the vest is The Thing played wonderfully by Michael Chiklis. With the money this has garnered at the box office you can bet a sequel is coming.
9. High Tension--Gory, Violent, and Suspenseful. The lead character female is really good and the killer dude is cool too in his approach. There are some slight missteps and the fact it is a French film overdubbed into English might bother some people. However after about the 30 minute mark there is little to no talking so it gets easier to watch. Less you know about it before seeing it the better
10. The Bad News Bears-- Billy Bob is a god to me. He truly is. Most people complained about remaking this film and it probably was unnecessary but if you're going to remake something get people that can pull it off. Billy kind of takes Walter Mattheiu's character and spins it in a new direction while keeping the drinking, swearing, skirt-chasing essentials. I enjoyed this film and that's all you can ask for.
11. Land of the Dead-- George Romero returns to the genre he helped popularize and gave us this movie that is good with flashes of very good but never edges over into great terrority. He does a good job of creating allegory again but he doesn't do a real good job of establishing his characters. Also it was a relatively short movie but still somehow felt long. Something tells me he had a 2 hour movie written that was hacked down to 1:40. Still, it was good to see Romero back in the saddle.
12. Deuce Bigelow: European Gigolo-- I hated the original when I saw it in theaters abut learned to like it when I saw it on tv. Surprisingly I enjoyed this movie a lot when I saw it and it was probably the funniest Rob Schneider movie ever, but I realize that is kind of like shooting fish in a barrel. As usual the best parts are his dates with the freak girls.
13.Kicking & Screaming--Will Ferrell continues his roll of strong performances and gets some great help from the legendary Robert Duvall. The kids are hilarious, the relationships between the parents and Will is funny and his geeky interaction with the kids is gold.
14. House of Wax--The first 40 minutes is boring, and just generally crappy. It is mind numbing and they make way to many references to Paris Hilton's sex video. Then Elisha Cuthbert and her boyfriend enter the House of Wax and that's where the movie picks up. It becomes a gory, intense thriller from that point on and the ending sequence is amazing in its spectre. But the first 40 minutes really drag it down and prevent it from being a great horror film.
Special Mention
Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith-- Pretty much what you expected from this film. You knew what would happen and this movie delivered on the action. Lucas still can't write dialogue but man the 2 hours and 20 minutes in the theater blew right by and I had fun despite a couple cheesy parts (NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!)
The Post with me Wondering about something
This Sunday at church I searched out the lady in charge of the Sunday School program. I asked her if she had any materials or curriculum I could look over-possibly use- and asked her what most people do with the class....See because junior high aged kids are difficult to me, and that's just from thinking back on when I was that age.
You're too old for this type of discussion, "Jonah was eaten by a whale, what do you think it feels like to be eaten by a whale?" And you're a little to young for the real in-depth Bible discussion--although I was assured that some of the kids will want to do that type of thing, which is fine by me.
So I was looking over some of this material and I don't know what to think. Some of the stuff is rather lame but I don't know if I'm thinking that as a 24 year old reading stuff geared towards 14 year olds, or whether I'm thinking that because I would've thought it was lame at that age. The other text seems ok and the kids would like it more since it allows for showing clips of movies to go along with the scripture lessons--and actually popular movies like Shrek, and Mean Girls so that might be the way to go....and looking over the website faithlens I am becoming more favorable towards how to gear these kids...so maybe it'll be ok
But the first text makes me kind of want to punch the guy who wrote it
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
The Post with the readers deciding this weekend's movie marathon
Make your voice heard--Does "F" make the natural move to first this week or does another letter sneak in for the kill....Vote now, poll ends Friday at 3 pm
The Post with me filling you in on some information I forgot yesterday
I forgot this piece of news.
I will be singing the Lord's Prayer at a friend's wedding in September. I've been practicing for the past two weeks and for someone who hasn't sang that way in about 6 years I sounded pretty damn good....I'm gonna make some people cry that day--well thsoe already not crying from the wedding.
The Post with me reviewing Tales from the Crypt Season 1
This past weekend I bought the dvd of a show I've loved since I was a kid.
When I was 9 I didn't have cable at my house, so traveling to my grandmothers to sleepover on the weekends meant I was goign to have access to HBO and Prism and all those other good channels. (I remember my first experience of an NC-17 movie--OY!!)
Well late night one weekend I remember sneaking downstairs right as this strange opening theme music started. It was a first-person video of someone walking up to this really creepy looking gothic style house in the middle of a thunderstorm. The front door opened and the camera quickly scanned through the quarters before sending down to the basement which was illuminated by candles and other scary sights...Then as the music built (One of Danny Elfman's finest works) and reached its peak a lid on a coffin popped open and out popped this skelton cackling at the top of his lungs and then saying, "Tales from the Crypt." As I crouched behind the bed trying to figure out if that was juice I spilled on myself or pee running down my leg I heard this voice begin talking, spouting all these crazy plays on words, "Good evening boils and ghouls...." I peered around the couch and saw that this thing wasn't so scary since it was obviously a puppet. He then introduced me to a short story and I was hooked. From then on I watched the show every chance I could even staying up late nights at school to catch the (edited) repeats on Sci-Fi channel throughout college.
So it was with great excitement I found Season 1 of Tales from the Crypt on dvd at Wal-Mart and I quickly slapped my debit card on the counter to purchase it. (I later read that season 2 comes out in October). This dvd set contains 6 (uncut) tales of the macabre and also features some special features.
All the stories are taken from the W.C. Gaines comics "The Crypt of Terror", "The Vault of Horror" and two others that escape me right now. Throughout the years this show got many famous faces to pop up (Tom Hanks, Ah-Nold) and even got some young up-and-coming actors to appear (Steve Buscemi, Ewan McGregor)..All the stories featured the classic ironic twist ending where the villian got his comeuppance-usually in the same way he was trying to screw over the good person
#1 The Man Who Was Death (Originally aired on 6/10/89)
Starring:
Bill Sadler, Gerrit Graham and Dani Mannick
Niles Talbot is an executioner who finds himself out of work when the death penalty is repealed. When he sees criminals literally getting away with murder and offs them in various "shocking" ways. When the law finally catches up with him, the death penalty is reinstated, and it's Niles' turn to be in the "hot seat".
#2 And All Through the House (Originally aired on 6/10/89)
Starring:
Mary Ellen Trainor, Larry Drake, Marshall Bell and Lindsey Whitney Barry
A woman murders her husband on Christmas Eve and is stalked by an axe wielding escaped mental patient dressed in a Santa Claus suit. Unable to call for help due to her husband's corpse lying in the front yard, she learns there is a penalty for being naughty instead of nice.
#3 Dig That Cat...He's Real Gone (Originally aired on 6/10/89)
Starring:
Joe Pantoliano, Robert Wuhl, Kathleen York and Gustav Vintas
Ulric is given the chance of a lifetime when a mad scientist implants a cat's gland inside his brain, allowing him to gain the cat's nine lives. He joins the circus and becomes Ulric the Undying, being killed onstage and coming back to life right before their very eyes. Unfortunately for Ulric, sometimes nine lives isn't enough.
#4 Only Sin Deep (Originally aired on 6/14/89)
Starring:
Lea Thompson, Britt Leach and Brett Cullin
Sylvia Vane is a prostitute who sells her beauty to a seemingly insane pawnbroker. When she finds herself getting uglier and uglier she tries to force the pawnbroker to give her beauty back, but he demands a large sum of money. Sylvia murders her wealthy lover to obtain the money, and finds her beautiful face on wanted posters. Her only chance at freedom now is to keep her hideous face.
#5 Lover, Come Hack to Me (Originally aired on 6/21/89)
Starring:
Amanda Plummer, Stephen Shellen, Lisa Figus and Richard Eden
Newlyweds Charles and Peggy find themselves stranded in an abandoned mansion on their wedding night. Charles has married Peggy for her money and plans to kill her this night and make it look like a robbery. During the night, he has a horrific dream that Peggy's mom murdered her husband with a large axe in this very mansion. It turns out that dream really happened, and Peggy proves like mother like daughter.
#6 Collection Completed (Originally aired on 6/28/89)
Starring:
M. Emmet Walsh, Audra Lindley and Martin Garner
Recently retired Jonas is being driven batty by his loony wife's many pets. His wife dotes over the pets, and even treats him as if he were a pet as well. Not used to doing nothing all day, Jonas decides he needs a hobby to take some of the time off his hands. Unfortunately that hobby is taxidermy, but it may be Jonas that ends up stuffed.
For the record #2 and #4 rank among my top 10 in this series--#2 is just scary and the ending is creepy and #4 mainly for the ever-enchanting Lea Thompson and her great performance.
Extras:
The Cryptkeeper gives us a brand new introduction to the season including his trademark play on words in a new song, which includes a Botox joke.
The Cryptkeeper also takes us on an in-depth look at Season 1 talking about the episodes and what we will find within the set.
Lastly, we get a 45 minute portion of the award winning documentary "Tales from the Crypt: From Comic Books to Television." It is a fantastic look at the series origins and why it was started. W.C. Gaines took over Educational Comics from his dad after his passing, despite his objections to the job and turned his love of horror into comimcs. It basically revived the fortunes of the newly named "Entertaining Comics" and made him a front runner of the circuit instead of a follower. Two years into his good fortune Congress stepped in after a psychologist wrote a book saying horror comics led to juvenile deliquency in teens, and effectively shut down the horror comic industry. They then talk about its revival on tv in this series and how much input Gaines and his partner had in the series. It's a fascinating look at the show.
Bonus Trivia: W.C. Gaines and Entertaining Comics are also the minds behind Mad Magazine...Go figure.
All in all I highly recommend this set and encourage all of you fans of horror and good short storytelling to buy it. It is only about 18 dollars at Wal-Mart making it a bargain, and it is worth every penny.
The Post with me announcing the book winner
So we voted a couple weeks ago to decide which book I'd read next. Haunted or Killing Yourself to Live--well the vote ended up being tied so we will flip a coin to see what book I read next..
Haunted is heads and Killing Yourself to Live is tails....best of 5--here we go
Flip 1-
Heads
Flip 2-
Tails
Flip 3-
Tails
Flip 4-
Heads
Flip 5 (For all the marbles)
Tails
The next book I will be reading is Killing Yourself to Live and then Haunted after that--thank you for voting
Monday, August 08, 2005
The Post with me updating some of the goings on
I've volunteered myself. That's right starting September 11th I will be teaching the Junior High Sunday School Class. Yeah wrap your head around that one. You've heard the way I talk, seen the way I act...I know what you're thinking.
"Hansley goes to church?"
"They're going to let him teach kids?"
Yes on both accounts.
It will be tough but fun and I have a great assistant--who was more or less volunteered without saying she'd like to do it. I at least expressed some interest in doing it so the call on my behalf was somewhat warranted
In other news---everyone write your congressman here in PA, or if you're out of state write to a PA congressman and tell them this new pay raise they gave themselves is a joke and a sham and they need to fix it....Stand up for yourselves like I did...
Lastly--go over to my buddy Matthias's blog and vote in his tv shows poll....The show we want to vote for is Yogi Bear people.
http://harmonicamusings.blogspot.com/
The Post with me recapping my Movie Weekend
Let's get right to some quick notes on the films I watched
Cabin Fever--A somewhat reviled horror film I've found but I love it. It's gory just for the hell of it, it's funny at times, and it made Rider Strong cool to me....I dare you to tell me the deer scene isn't great.
Caddyshack---A cinematic comedy classic. Bill Murray, Chevy Chase, and Rodney Dangerfield all take turns stealing scenes but this film is Dangerfield at his sleazy, slimy, and hilarious best. A must watch for everyone.
Cape Fear---Chilling without being exploitative and a creepy film that sends shivers down the spine. It is one of Scorsese's underappreciated films and is DeNiro at his over-the-top best.
Cannonball Run----Burt Reynolds teamed up with director Hal Needham for the first two Smoky and the Bandit films and then they did this which feels flat after the other two movies. I still enjoy this movie about an illegal cross-country race but at times there is too much going on and not enough time given to develop the characters.
Can't Hardly Wait--- One of the better teen comedies made in the 90's. All the characters are reduced to stereotypes in many regards but they all feel like the person they are supposed to be and not playing that character in a movie-- If that makes any sense...It also furthered my Love Hewitt fascination. (I'm still working on that list)
Carrie--1976 version-- Look Brian DePalma is a dickhead blatantly ripping off Alfred Hitchcock at every turn but this movie is good, but it's mainly because of Sissy Spacek's creepy, completely hinged while being mentally unhinged performance helps keep this story afloat.
The Cell--I know I know, it stars Jennifer Lopez--but she is really good in this film and people forget before all the Jenny from the Block nonsense she could really act. This movie should be given more acclaim for the trippy, every nightmare you've ever experienced ride it takes you on. Maybe the public didn't respond because this movie is more about taking you into the mind of the serial killer and setting up shop there. Seriously give J-Lo some credit for this film.
Chasing Amy--- Still my favorite Kevin Smith. I think it is his most realized characters spouting his most insightful dialogue, and it feels painfully real and full of emotion in the words. The Affleck speech in the middle is gripping.
Children of the Corn--One of the first movies that ever totally freaked me out as a kid. That whole beginning sequence is beyond weird but I've found this movie doesn't hold up well over time. The last scene still makes me jump though.
Clerks--Kevin SMith entered filmdom with this film and showed that he was worthy of the buzz that preceded him. His characters are like nothing that was seen at the time and his dialogue represented the way people actually talked. I liked the film when I first saw it but after spending some time in customer service I love the film more.
Club Dread---Many people felt let down by this after the much funnier Super Troopers but this wasn't meant to be drop dead funny. They brillantly lampoon the horror genre and give life to some more crazy characters (Although truth be told I was slightly disappointed since I thought they could've done more with the concept.)
Creepshow--- Stephen King writes the script, George Romero does the directing, and Tom Savini does the gory special effects make-up..This is a horror maven's wet dream. Some stories are better than others but that's the case with any anthology, if at all possible avoid the second story starring Stephen King.
Creepshow 2--- A let-down after Creepshow but it has its strongpoints. Mainly the second short story "The Raft" which is strange but oh so much fun. "The Hitchhiker" is not scary but it is hilarious most of the time. Ok it's scary once or twice...The first story is stupid though.
Fill up the comment box with agreements or arguments
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
The Post where my readers set my movie watching weekend
I've decided this weekend I need to shut the world out and watch movies all weekend. And since I never know what to watch I'm leaving it up to my readers. I've taken 10 letters of the Alphabet that I own more than 7 dvd's beginning with that letter. SO vote on which letter of the Alphabet you like and vote for it...The winning letter at 3 pm on Friday selects what movies I will watch this weekend (For example if B wins--I watch every movie in my collection beginning with "b")
Sound good? Vote now
Monday, August 01, 2005
The Post with what I'm saving money to buy
After 86 years of heartbreak and gloom (Bucky "Bleepin'" Dent, Bill Buckner, Aaron "Bleepin'" Boone) the Boston Red Sox finally broke through this past year and won the World Series and for the first time ever Major League Baseball is giving a World Series winner the royal treatment...Go to dvdempire.com at the link below and see what has me more excited than Tom Crusie was for Katie Holmes
"http://www.dvdempire.com/Exec/v4_item.asp?userid=99364295802223&searchID=1560305&item_id=690046"
